LOOKING FORWARD

Back in the fall of 2010, I never would have thought I would still be alive!  

What with two stomach operations and surgery for kidney cancer, it seemed doubtful at times, especially those two weeks following my first Nissen fundoplication, when the doctor inadvertently stitched a nerve that controlled my diaphragm!  I could hardly walk across the room, and showering made it necessary for my wife to towel me off.  I would almost pass out from lack of oxygen.

With the help of God and a little retraining of my diaphragm muscle, I overcame that, and lived to have the same surgery again!

Just about the time I got over that, I discovered that I had a tumor on my left kidney.  Other than the pain drugs I was given, I made it through that pretty well.

So, yeah, honestly, when I look back I thought 2010 would be my last year on earth.  This September, it will only have been two years since the cancer scare, but it seems so much longer.

Now, I sit here, knowing that tomorrow morning I'll be again put to sleep for a "green laser" procedure on my prostate.  Not a real serious thing, but enough to give me pause to reflect.  I was once told that every time you are anesthetized, and put to sleep, you lose a little something!  Whether or not that true remains to be discovered, I just know I can't afford to drop off any brain power!  I guess that bothers me more than anything, but it has to be done.

So, this past week, knowing what I'm facing again, I tried to lose myself in the real life going on around me.  

Take last week's sixth birthday party for Lily!  What a day I had.  Again, I was on a t-ball field watching a granddaughter learning and playing the game.  How wonderful it is to be alive and having the privilege again of experiencing what I did with Katie Bug.  The best part, I still have Kinsley to go!

Lily will learn the game and teach her younger sister the ropes, and ol' Papaw will be on the sidelines grinning all over himself!

Lily also turned six on the same day.  To be with her, her sister, and my son and his wife, is pure love from above.  My heart gets so overjoyed that tears come to my eyes.

Right in the middle, came Mother's Day.  I love fixing the traditional hamburger for my mom, even if this year I had to stand in the rain to do it!  As you can see, I was successful, and it was all worth it to see that big smile!

I also got to be with Tracy, Katie, and Eddie to share a laugh or two.  Since Katie is off in school most days, it's always good to be with her every second I can.  She was the first, and we connected deeply in those early days.  We went on "ventures", finding out together where little overlooked roads led, and just talking about everything.  I miss that...so much, but now she's off, probably soon making a family of her own...more kids for me to spoil!

Lily also, it's been a good couple of weeks for her, graduated from kindergarten.  One Papaw, one Pop-pop, and one Baboo, along with one Gramby, one BeeBee, and one Momma Judy sat in the audience with huge grins and hearts, with eyes focused on her alone.  It probably was special for mom and dad too, but grandparents realize what is going on.  We are calling back all the days gone past when we really didn't pay close enough attention, and we don't want those moments to get away from us again.

It's like when we notice that the new puppy has grown up, we wish we could have kept it at that small and tender age when they had that beautiful puppy breath!  We know we can't keep them young forever, but grand children let us relive all those lost moments all over again.  Forgive us when we encourage you to have another child...that's all we're trying to do, to keep you young forever!

So, my prayer is that I'll again have more tomorrows and more Katie, Lily, and Kinsley to have "silly-time" with.  It's all I ever wanted...honestly!  

TWO GREAT FAMILY DAY'S IN A ROW

Yep, nothing like family, and Sunday dinner and picking up Lily from school on Monday were great blessings for me.

Even having my four-legged grand-dog give me her "Wha'chu Talkin' 'Bout?" look put a smile in my heart!

Saturday out with the Knights (Ron and Steve), watching radio controlled airplanes and helicopters circle above our heads, sipping brews with pizza, are so much fun, but there is nothing like close family time.

Judy out did herself by cooking a 4-hour pot roast with potatoes, carrots, slaw, mac'n cheese, green beans, cornbread, and pecan pie for desert.  She invited Tracy, Katie, and Eddie over and they brought Roxy to beg at the table for leftovers!

We had a good time in the sun-room, relaxing, rubbing our bellies, watching Judy and Katie trying to find enough room in one chair, and teasing Roxy.  It was a very relaxing day.  We need more of those family times over a good meal, and Judy has promised to do it more often.

Since Katie had to get back to school to study for finals, the party broke up early.  However, it was the second day Judy and I had her around.  She had actually spent Friday night with us, giving them alone time piled up in the bed talking about boys, TV shows, and what was for breakfast!

Saturday morning she left early to attend a ball game with her young cousin, and I left to join Ron and Steve at the Tennessee Eagles airfield.

So, the weekend went fine and ended too soon.  It used to be sad because we knew we had to go to work Monday morning, but now it's sad because family has to leave to get ready for work and college.

However, for us, the family time continues on Mondays.  That's the day we pick Lily up after school.  

This Monday was to be a special day, a short visit with my mom.  We always stop and get something for a picnic out in her sun room.  Mom loves the time with Lily, 'cause she don't get to see Lily, or her sister, very often.  She watched every move Lily made, and she was in rare form today.

Lily laughed, poked fun at us, danced, flipped her hair band at us, and, in general, thoroughly entertained us.  These days she is quite different from her shy beginnings.  She rubs against us and hugs us, lets us hug and kiss on her, which used to be a "no no".  She was once quite independent and didn't like people touching her, but, boy, has that changed!  It's a change I've waited for for almost six years now!

We laughed at her blue tongue, from the "Blue Coconut" slush she wanted from Sonic, and simply adored every little thing she did and said.

So, tomorrow is Tuesday, and we're back to being by ourselves, which we also enjoy, but not like the times when family is around.  

Those are the "family days"!

WELCOME TO GRANDPARENTS DAY!

I don't know why functions insist on scheduling things early in the morning, especially when they involve retired grandparents!  Don't they know we need our rest?!

Nah, it didn't matter, it was Grandparent/Special Friend Day at one of my granddaughter's school.  I would have been there at 6AM, if need be!

She was a special child in her class.  She had six grandparents following her around, like follow the leader!  Her dad's mom and I divorced years ago, but we have since grown to be close friends, and my wife and I enjoy Connie and her husband Gary's company.  We often visit and and break bread together, but usually it has something to do with one or both of our grandchildren.  Besides, we have lots in common, like our son, the grand kids, and her family, especially her dad, who has been like a father to me through it all.

But today we roamed the halls of the Christian school, getting stares from people wondering why so many people were following this little girl, who was on a mission to show us her school.

Me, Judy, Dwight, Joyce, Gary, and Connie on Grandparents Day!

She loves school and is disappointed when classes are suspended for snow or holidays.  She loves her friends, and she certainly seems to have lots of them.  She often tells me their names and what they did in school that day...talking about them as if she was much older than her five years.

She, if I may brag, and who doesn't when it comes to grandchildren, is beautiful, the image of her mom in looks and actions, according to her dad, and she is very intelligent, which is something she gets from both her parents.  The children all seem much smarter than when I was at that age.  They even put up the words to their songs on a monitor so they can read the words!  Heck, I had trouble with Dick and Jane when I was a year older than she is now!

The church welcomed us old folks with name tags, an orientation, and later a catered lunch of fired chicken.  You know you're in a Baptist church when there's fired chicken around!

The old people departed the orientation to head to the appropriate class presentations in different areas of the complex.  I was amazed at how huge the church was, and was glad there were 8th graders at every door to direct us during our morning tour of the school and church.

In her program room, Lily was seated in the middle of several kindergarten children, flanked by first and second graders, seated on a raised bleacher.  They recited scripture and sang songs of welcome and praise to us, while we sat focused on Lily...barely seeing the other children!  

She read and sang every word, rarely looking out into the audience, but she did playfully poke and touch a young boy seated next to her.  Later she confessed he was her boyfriend, and even ran over to him and pulled him in front of my camera.  She's not shy!

After the singing, the children were asked to find their grandparents and visit with them for a short time.  Lily had already spotted and waved at us earlier, so she immediately ran to us.  We took turns hugging and holding her on our laps.  She was so blessed to have so many people there that love her.

Later we visited Lily in her room, where she continued to talk to her classmates, sometimes ignoring us as if it were a normal class day.

It was a great morning filled with warm friendship and love.  Judy and I really enjoyed the other grandparents and look forward to the next opportunity to be together.

Dwight and Joyce have been my friends long before our children married.  We shared Sunday School rooms and fellowships long ago in another church.  They have recently retired from over thirty years of missionary work in Africa.  They are salt of the earth folks, with many a wonderful story to tell.  No wonder I love being around them too.

Looking forward to next year's "old folks day"!  By then, we'll have another grandchild in the same school.  Wow, then we'll have to decide who is going to which class presentation first!

I guess that's why you have to get there so early...there are lots of decisions to be made when you are sharing special moments in your grand children's lives. 

MY OTHER FAMILY

My son's mother, Connie, and I divorced way back in '78, but over the years we've become good friends again.  Her husband and I often introduce each other to friends as "my husband-in-law"!  That sounds so much better than "my X-wife's husband", and it doesn't carry the negative connotations that normally goes along with such an introduction.

Belinda, Janet, Connie, and Judy.

Uncle James, Bill, Belinda, Brandon, and Brooke.

I'll have to admit that would probably not have happened had we not had Corey in common.  He drew us back together as his step-dad, Larry (now deceased), and I stood hanging on the chain link fence, side-by-side shouting encouragement, at his little league ball games.  Larry and I also became friends through those activities, and over time Connie and my current/last wife Judy got to know each other.

Gary finishing up the dogs, while Uncle Cecil supervises!

Judy and "Dub" (Connie's dad)

Aunt Wanda, Uncle Cecil, and Aunt Joyce!

When Larry died, Judy and I were there, at the funeral, with the rest of the family.

Truth be known, Judy and Connie's relationship has had a lot to do with us ultimately getting closer, in a friendly, almost family again, kind of way.  We now often visit to share a meal and our grandchildren, who are themselves instruments of peace and love.

Aunt Wilma and Uncle James (Belinda's parents)

Mary Lois (Dub's friend)

I like Connie now, which I had stopped doing by the end of our 10-year marriage, but now there is a "family love" for her.  She is, after all, the mother of my son, and she is also a very good person.  I can respect and love her for all that, without there being any other connection or feelings.  We are just friends with the added connection of having a son and two beautiful grandchildren in common.

Gary and Connie's backyard...made just for grand-kids!

Her family has always been special to me as well, and her mom, before she died a couple of years back, and her dad always introduced me as "my son"!  That was always a warm and mutual love her family and I shared.  That connection would have always remained had Connie and I never reconnected again.

Corey works on the slide under Brandon and Bill's supervision!

Thank God it happened though.  There is such peace in my life knowing that her family and I still have a close relationship.  I am also thankful that my son and his girls will grow up knowing us as "family" and not X's!  There will never be a need for them to feel anxious when we are together at birthday parties, like there is in other divorced situations.  We will always be just part of the family...one family, in their eyes.

Grant watches as Lily leaps into the air!

Recently I took these photos at a gathering of "family".  One of Connie's aunts, Wanda, came "home" from the Memphis area to see her sisters and their extended families.  She specifically requested to see "all the family" together, so Connie made sure that Judy and I knew to come.  It was wonderful to see her again.  Her husband, Sam, was one of my best friends.  Before he died, we did a lot of fishing and camping together.  There is still a hole in my heart from his passing, and I'll write about all that one day.

Lily aims the water cannon at herself!

Gary, as usual, gave everyone the full food selection...burgers, dogs, chicken, and chile, along with all the fixings that support whatever one choose to eat!  The food was great, which has always been a hallmark of that family.

Judy wakes Kinsley from her nap!

Connie's cousin, Belinda and her husband Bill, and I reminisced about our college days when we commuted from Harriman to UT.  It was a special time for us; they living with her parents, and Connie and me living with her's.  We had fun during the ride to and from school each day, and after school, and before studying, we played hard.  Sometimes it was badminton, horseshoes, bottle rocket fights, playing polo with croquet mallets while riding on lawnmowers, or sliding in the snow on lawn-chairs attached to water-skis!  We were always getting into something!

Bill, Belinda, Connie (Oh, you know she'll hate this shot!), and Mushy back in 1969 while at UT.

However, this past week we just stood back and watched our grandchildren as they played on the big water slide, and took pictures.  There is always some new milestone to document, like Kinsley learning to climb up into the slide without help...what a great thing that was!

I had such a great time watching them play in the backyard and being with my other family again!

A DAY WITH LILY

Monday is our normal day to pick Lily up from school, but this week we were also scheduled to do it on Friday as well.  However, Judy had a previous engagement, so it was left up to ol' Papaw to do the honors.

Note the pink backpack!

It was her first week of kindergarten and she had been anticipating it since Pre-wee School let out last spring.  One of her favorite people in the whole world is her cousin Julia, who started the third grade this year, and Lily wants to be all grown up like her cousin.  So, at school orientation last week Lily insisted she wear her school backpack!

She was all talk about her day when she came out to get in my truck.  The happiness was very evident and she beamed when I told her what a big girl she was and how much I loved her new short hair cut!

I asked her what she wanted to do and "eat" was almost out of her mouth before I finished the question.  Of course, I knew the answer before asking, but it's such a treat to her her excitement as she explains where she would like to go.

Note the mouth full of chicken nuggets!

She rattled off a couple of places and then I suggested Chick-fil-A, and she blurted out "Yeah, Chick-fil-A!"

I don't think it's the food, it's mostly the play area.  She loves to climb, hide, and slide!

We sat quietly eating for a few minutes and then she had to go to the bathroom.  I had dreaded that moment, being by myself for the first time, but I gave her a few cautions and things about wiping the seat and washing her hands, and released her on her own at the ladies room door.

A couple of anxious minutes passed before a lady came out, looked at me, guessed I was a nervous Papaw, and said, "She's okay...she's in the stall singing!"

What a relief...I knew she was fine then and the second time she had to go wasn't quite as traumatic for me.  She's growing up and I'll just have to face it.

We took a few more bites and she said, "I want to go play."

I said, "Well, we will, let me finish eating first."

"Well, I'll just go by myself," she said emphatically.

I knew then that I was going to have to move, so I looked back toward the play area and spotted an empty table, that was previously occupied, right in front of the play area.  I could easily watch her through the glass as she happily played and I happily ate!

Inside she went, dropping her shoes as she went, and up into the plastic maze, disappearing for several minutes before dropping out of the slide-shoot.

She came up to the window once and started to wave.  I was thinking, "How nice she is to acknowledge me," so I waved back, but then I noticed that her eyes were looking past me.  I should have known better!

She had spotted a classmate at another table, so the giggling, chasing, hiding, and tagging soon began!

It was her friend Ellie, and before the adventure was over, they wanted to pose for a photo.  Ah, how wonderful it would be to be that carefree again.  Wait, I am that carefree again!  Retirement is pure freedom!

Old age also brings you moments like these - having fun watching your grandchildren play and being young.

Old also brings discounts...like this one from the movie Judy and I saw last week...right in the middle of the week!  We're free!

Back at her house, she insisted I see her "office", and new desk!  So, up the steps we went quietly, so as not to awaken her sister Kinsley, and into her room. 

She showed me her desk, her computer, and told me she was getting a new chair soon, and that she hoped it had "the chipmunks" on it!

I played with her for a while, stuffed a dollar into her money jar, one of three she has, and told her I had to leave.  Downstairs, she gave me a big hug and I told her we would do it all again on Monday!  Can't wait!