MY OTHER FAMILY

My son's mother, Connie, and I divorced way back in '78, but over the years we've become good friends again.  Her husband and I often introduce each other to friends as "my husband-in-law"!  That sounds so much better than "my X-wife's husband", and it doesn't carry the negative connotations that normally goes along with such an introduction.

Belinda, Janet, Connie, and Judy.

Uncle James, Bill, Belinda, Brandon, and Brooke.

I'll have to admit that would probably not have happened had we not had Corey in common.  He drew us back together as his step-dad, Larry (now deceased), and I stood hanging on the chain link fence, side-by-side shouting encouragement, at his little league ball games.  Larry and I also became friends through those activities, and over time Connie and my current/last wife Judy got to know each other.

Gary finishing up the dogs, while Uncle Cecil supervises!

Judy and "Dub" (Connie's dad)

Aunt Wanda, Uncle Cecil, and Aunt Joyce!

When Larry died, Judy and I were there, at the funeral, with the rest of the family.

Truth be known, Judy and Connie's relationship has had a lot to do with us ultimately getting closer, in a friendly, almost family again, kind of way.  We now often visit to share a meal and our grandchildren, who are themselves instruments of peace and love.

Aunt Wilma and Uncle James (Belinda's parents)

Mary Lois (Dub's friend)

I like Connie now, which I had stopped doing by the end of our 10-year marriage, but now there is a "family love" for her.  She is, after all, the mother of my son, and she is also a very good person.  I can respect and love her for all that, without there being any other connection or feelings.  We are just friends with the added connection of having a son and two beautiful grandchildren in common.

Gary and Connie's backyard...made just for grand-kids!

Her family has always been special to me as well, and her mom, before she died a couple of years back, and her dad always introduced me as "my son"!  That was always a warm and mutual love her family and I shared.  That connection would have always remained had Connie and I never reconnected again.

Corey works on the slide under Brandon and Bill's supervision!

Thank God it happened though.  There is such peace in my life knowing that her family and I still have a close relationship.  I am also thankful that my son and his girls will grow up knowing us as "family" and not X's!  There will never be a need for them to feel anxious when we are together at birthday parties, like there is in other divorced situations.  We will always be just part of the family...one family, in their eyes.

Grant watches as Lily leaps into the air!

Recently I took these photos at a gathering of "family".  One of Connie's aunts, Wanda, came "home" from the Memphis area to see her sisters and their extended families.  She specifically requested to see "all the family" together, so Connie made sure that Judy and I knew to come.  It was wonderful to see her again.  Her husband, Sam, was one of my best friends.  Before he died, we did a lot of fishing and camping together.  There is still a hole in my heart from his passing, and I'll write about all that one day.

Lily aims the water cannon at herself!

Gary, as usual, gave everyone the full food selection...burgers, dogs, chicken, and chile, along with all the fixings that support whatever one choose to eat!  The food was great, which has always been a hallmark of that family.

Judy wakes Kinsley from her nap!

Connie's cousin, Belinda and her husband Bill, and I reminisced about our college days when we commuted from Harriman to UT.  It was a special time for us; they living with her parents, and Connie and me living with her's.  We had fun during the ride to and from school each day, and after school, and before studying, we played hard.  Sometimes it was badminton, horseshoes, bottle rocket fights, playing polo with croquet mallets while riding on lawnmowers, or sliding in the snow on lawn-chairs attached to water-skis!  We were always getting into something!

Bill, Belinda, Connie (Oh, you know she'll hate this shot!), and Mushy back in 1969 while at UT.

However, this past week we just stood back and watched our grandchildren as they played on the big water slide, and took pictures.  There is always some new milestone to document, like Kinsley learning to climb up into the slide without help...what a great thing that was!

I had such a great time watching them play in the backyard and being with my other family again!

PASSING IT ON...

When I was a young boy, my mom used to read to me a lot, and one of the books she used to read to me was called, "The Story of Ferdinand".  While browsing in Borders a few weeks back I spotted the word "Ferdinand" on a book sitting on the floor leaning against a table.  My heart leaped as I recognized the very book mom used to read, except that this one was huge!

I couldn't resist buying the book and thinking of all the fun I'd have reading to my granddaughters Lily and Kinsley.  Proudly I presented the book to the sales lady, and didn't even blink when she did a double take!  "It ain't fer me," I thought behind my smile!

The book made such an impression on me back then that the first time I ever heard Herb Albert's "The Lonely Bull" I choked up.  All I could see was poor lonely Ferdinand sitting there in the field all by himself.

It was a couple of weeks before I got to try it out on Lily, this past Monday,... but sadly, she didn't seem too impressed.  As a matter of fact, it was the end of the day before she would even sit still long enough for me to begin reading.  Finally, she sat listening, but frankly, I think she was more interested in posing for the camera Judy was holding than to the words I was reading.

However, I realize, while the book is basically simple in text, there is a deeper meaning that will take time to awaken in her mind, as I'm sure it did in mine.

Ferdinand is a bull fully focused on being himself, and is even encouraged by his "cow" mom to be just that - himself.  There in lies the moral to the story and one that my mom impressed on me way back then.  Just be yourself...you have only yourself to blame for whatever you do or do not become...just make sure you are happy with that chosen direction!

My direction will be to try and read the story to them every chance I get and hopefully the point will eventually sink way inside!

Kinsley, you're next!

Maybe it will be a book, and a moral, they too will want to pass on one day.

CHRISTMAS DAY GOES BY...NOT AS USUAL

I arose early this morning and made my way to Knoxville, to watch Lily and Kinsley open and play with their Santa gifts. It was a wonderful time, especially knowing how sick the two were just a few days ago, with Lily actually be hospitalized. They seemed fine and played briefly with every new toy; their runny little noses shinning above a wide smile! They still have some mending to do!

Lily made Corey and I a cup of "play" tea, with two imaginary sugar cubes, and then turned to learning how to feed a "Hungry Hippo"! Of course, we had to pay close attention to the little white balls, because Kinsley is at that age where everything goes straight to her mouth!

Tia's parents are Baptist Missionaries in Africa (I can never remember the exact country, but I think it's Tanzania...they can correct me later), and have been there for over 20 years. Tia was actually born and went to school in Africa, before coming to America to live with her grandmother and go to school to study pharmacy. She is a brilliant lady and a very good and loving mother. My son is a lucky man to have her as his wife.

Tia cranked up Skype on their computer and shared Christmas morning with her mom and dad. They talked for a long while, but Lily was just to busy playing to spend much time sitting still in front of the Mac, talking to Beebe (an African name for grandmother) and Bahbo (an African name for grandfather).

Sometimes I'm a little envious they have cool names and I'm just Papaw, but at least she knows the difference between us. Corey's mom is Granby, and Judy is Momma Judy, and Granby's husband is PopPop! They're all cool names for very cool folks!

Anyway, Christmas Day is normally when Judy and I make a big dinner for Tracy, Katie, Eddie, and my mom, but Judy has been sick for about three days now. She is very dizzy and has a terrible sounding cough. She got a shot at the doctor's office Wednesday, but it must have been a placebo since she hasn't gotten any better. So, Christmas Eve's breakfast was canceled and today's traditional supper was rescheduled for Sunday.

Not having had the annual gathering here today meant that I didn't get to visit with Tracy and her family, but at least I got some time in with Katie Bug on Tuesday (previous post). Sunday's not that far away now, so I can wait just a little longer.

It wasn't a normal Christmas, but it was still enjoyable, and it didn't rain as much as was predicted.

I think my brother and his wife are coming to mom's tomorrow, so that should be lots of fun. If we can get all the grandchildren together for photos, it will turn out to be wonderful. We'll see what happens.

See ya!

BLESS THEIR LITTLE HEARTS!

My grand daughter Lily was admitted to the hospital after medication for "walking pneumonia" failed to work break her 3 day fever of 102 to 103. After a two hour wait in the emergency room at Children's Hospital in Knoxville, she was admitted and put on an antibiotic and fluids IV drip. Her oxygen level was below 90 and it should be 92 or better.

Yesterday, while we watched her sleep (see photo included here), her fever broke and was around 97.6. She slept for over 2 hours, which was more than she had gotten the night before. She may have slept more had her daddy's cellphone not rang!

This morning I called and Lily was finally eating and drinking, and had slept the entire night! I could hear cartoons playing in the background, so I know Corey was happy too...just kidding!

Corey told me that her sister, Kinsley, was at the doctor as we were talking. She is getting sick too and Tia was making a preemptive visit to the doctor; fearing she might develop pneumonia as well.

UPDATE: Both girls are doing fine, but Lily remains in the hospital. Test came back today with this diagnosis:

Respiratory syncytial virus (RSV) is a very common virus that leads to mild, cold-like symptoms in adults and older healthy children. It can be more serious in young babies, especially to those in certain high-risk groups.

Symptoms

• Bluish skin color due to a lack of oxygen (cyanosis)
• Breathing difficulty or labored breathing
• Cough
• Croupy cough (often described as a "seal bark" cough)
• Fever
• Nasal flaring
• Rapid breathing (tachypnea)
• Shortness of breath
• Stuffy nose
• Wheezing

Infants under age 1 are most severely affected and often have the most trouble breathing. Older children usually have only mild, cold-like symptoms. Symptoms usually appear 4 - 6 days after coming in contact with the virus.

Treatment

Antibiotics do not treat RSV. Mild infections go away without treatment. Infants and children with a severe RSV infection may be admitted to the hospital so they can receive oxygen, humidified air, and fluids by IV.

A breathing machine (ventilator) may be needed.

Causes

RSV is the most common germ that causes lung and airway infections in infants and young children.

The disease spreads from person to person through contact with contaminated tiny droplets or objects that the droplets have touched.

Risks include:

• Attending daycare (there are many, but here is the main cause in young children)!

Please remember the little girls in your prayers and for all the little girls and boys who are sick and/or in hospitals. Looking at Lily lying there yesterday (as in the photo), with the IV tubes running from her left hand, and with an occasional oxygen mask over her little face, brought big tears to my eyes. Little ones should be spared the pain of illness, but...such is our earthly burden.

My best to you all this Christmas. May God bless you and yours in the coming year.

MOWING THE YARD AND PLAYING WITH GRAND-BABIES!

As usual, Judy and I picked up Lily from Wee-Pre-School yesterday, and had a ball eating at Chick-fil-a and playing blocks on the screened porch. It was a beautiful day with plenty of sunshine, giggles, and funny little sayings!

We then got a call from Connie, my former wife, who keeps Tia and Corey’s younger daughter on Monday’s at her house. She said she always cooked for Corey and her dad on Monday evenings, so we were welcome to come. Since she has invited us before, we decided to take her up on her offer this time.

As soon as Lily’s afternoon nap was over we headed across town. My mom and Corey were already there and it was so nice to see little Kinsley. This was only the second or third time I’ve seen the child since she was born in February. It’s just a timing thing, but Connie knew it was an opportunity for us to she her, plus an opportunity to visit longer with Corey than the 10 minutes it takes to say hello and load Lily into her car-seat for the trip home.

Kinsley is a doll, totally different from Lily, with big blue eyes and a friendly smile for everyone. Lily sometimes still hides shyly behind her parents, with her big brown eyes averted. So, it was nice to have one grandbaby that comes excitedly forward to be hugged and “man-handled”!

Soon Connie’s dad arrived. I love this man and I get the feeling from him that I’m still like a son to him. He’s a wonderful man who loves God and still works hard every day even though he’s around 80!

Judy got to feed Kinsley, who really loves eating…another thing besides the blue eyes she has in common with me!

I took loads of photos and thoroughly enjoyed watching the children play, including my son! Some of the shots turned out super and I just had to proudly share them with you. Hope you don’t mind!

We’re blessed with a relationship with Corey’s mom that allows us to visit and share our grandkids in a peaceful and even loving atmosphere. We got over the petty bickering years ago and have since grown to be good friends who just happen to share grandchildren. Connie and Judy like each other too and that’s special to us all.

This morning I was awakened by the doorbell. In my morning confusion, I could not imagine who would be awake at 8:30 in the morning. I opened the door and it was my neighbor from down the street that is in the lawn business. He had told me he would mow my yard and give me a price this week, but, of course, I had forgotten all about it. It was a great surprise!

I’m sitting here typing this post and listening to his mower running the rounds in the backyard. How wonderful! He also had a young fellow climb up on the roof and blew the leaves and debris out of the valleys. I tell you, I’m in Heaven!

I was forced into yard work retirement by my leaf mold allergy, but I might just get used to this arrangement!

Well, I think he’s about finished, so until next time…

THANK GOD FOR LITTLE GIRLS

Judy, my mom, and I visited the girls today and found them all (including their mother Tia) adorable! Tia seemed to enjoy the little break in the action and watched her girls proudly as we made grandparent fools of ourselves!

Kinsley cuddled, grinned, occasionally flashed her dark eyes, and slowly moved her arms and legs while laying on my shoulder…it was wonderful to finally get to hold her. The best part of having the new baby may be that Lily is just jealous enough to want to be held and loved on more often! I took full advantage of it all and had the best time!

Mom enjoyed holding her newest great-granddaughter and watching Lily play. Lily has never been as animated as she is now with Kinsley around. She often came to me to hold her as she pretended to be hurt and crying like a little baby. This is only natural and won’t last long, but I plan on drinking in all the extra loving I’m now getting from her while it last! I also had to read several books to her, and she loved my pirate voice and my fire truck sounds!

Lucky for me, most of my soreness is gone, because Lily gave me a good workout!

Can’t wait until the next visit!

Yes, the soreness is almost gone, and today was the 26^th day since my blunder upon Buzzard’s Bluff!

I’m also celebrating the fact that I slept in my bed last night for the first time since then. I wasn’t actually flat-out, but I was in the bed propped firmly upon several pillows. It will probably be another week before I can resume sleeping on my right and left sides. If I try that now, I wake up in short order in lots of pain. However, for now, I’ll take sleeping in a “reclining” position in my bed instead of in the living room recliner.

See ya soon!

THIRD ANNIVERSAY OF MY NOSE DIVE!

Well, today is the third anniversary of my fall and it’s been 15 straight days in the recliner!

I can’t believe how fatigued I get trying to do the least thing, and after a shower and a shave I’m totally wiped out! It takes me a good 15 minutes of sitting down to get my heart rate back down and to rid myself of that spent feeling.

I did try the bed a couple of nights ago, thinking that if I laid flat of my back I could be just as comfortable as in my recliner – wrong! Somehow the recliner distributes my weight differently and actually rests my back. The bed seems to put undue pressure on my back and I wake up about an hour later in pain.

Oh well, I got used to the recliner during my shoulder surgeries, so I’m content to ride it out there.

What upsets me now is that I’ll probably have to call off my April driving trip out west off, and miss spring wildflower season in the woods here.

I still haven’t gotten to see my new granddaughter, but here is one of her first photos. She is Lily sister and they named here Kinsley Hope. Love my girls!