I LOST ANOTHER GREAT MAN THIS WEEK

If I could have chosen any other man to be my father, it would have been James Keebler.  James was my uncle by marriage, not blood at all, but I loved him as if he were my father.  I lost him Tuesday to, what else, cancer, the curse of mankind...it seems.

James in 1974, posing for my camera.

Anyway, I won't get into all that, I just wanted to say that I loved this man. 

He taught me more about how to love my wife, my child and my grandchildren than any other influence in my life.  He was there with support, he was there with love, he was there with compassion, and coated it all with a little touch of humor that could make you miss the moment if you didn't pay close attention.  His lessons in life were subtle and strongly rooted in family.

These were the good days; days of sharing food and fellowship.
We loved being with one another and looked forward to the next time.  

  

He loved the family gatherings, the holidays, the cook-outs, the birthdays, the food, the laughter, the children, the football games, the family slide shows, and especially the fun in the backyard afterward.  He could always be heard laughing, and/or just standing, smiling, and soaking in the fleeting moments. 

James and Wilma Keeber - 1969

As for his own wife and daughters, none were ever loved more.  You could see it in his eyes.  His eyes always locked on yours and you knew that he saw you, understood you, felt for you, and loved you.  You could not turn away, didn't want to turn away, when he spoke to you.

I was never very close to my own father, and we often had words and would spend days not talking.  During one of these times I once told James that I wished he had been my father.  He looked shocked, and for a moment didn't say anything.  He knew what I was going through and what I yearned for in my relationship with my dad.  Then he said, "Don't say that.  Your father loves you...he just don't know how to tell you."

I knew then that I was wrong.  However, it was years before I understood where my dad was coming from, and why.  By then it was too late.

James and I often had deep conversations about life.  We also had great moments of laughter.  We always got each others jokes.  Like me, he wasn't ashamed to let the "little boy" inside him out.  He loved our bottle rocket shot-outs, our games of badminton, horseshoes, and lawnmower-polo!  He even once built a snow sled by screwing a lawn-chair to a pair of water skis, just because I suggested it.

He laughed at Bill Powers, is son-in-law, and me as we wildly zipped down the snow covered slop behind his house.  I don't remember if he tried it or not, but I'm sure he did; he couldn't have resisted!  He could never let us have all the fun.

James was strong, but the kids were his soft spot!

I don't think I've ever known as stronger man either.  Yes, he was gentle with us, but he was a strong man.  One of the toughest things I remember about him was the two times he got his hands, up to the wrist, caught in an offset printing press...the big kind that printed newspapers.

Once at the Harriman RECORD, I walked in from my advertising sales route to see a trail of blood leading out the front door and down the street to the hospital.  I asked what had happened and was told about how James got one hand caught, reached in with the other, and pried up on a bar to release his hands.  He had walked himself the two blocks to the emergency room!

It happened again a few years later at the Roane County NEWS, and again both hands were nearly crushed.  It took weeks for the skin to grow back, but the pain never left his joints, especially in his golden years.  Cold winter days must have been agonizing for him!

However, after both incidents, he never showed any pain.  He kept that locked inside.  His tolerance for pain was remarkable, but it was his love for his family that was the medication he used to hide it.

Family was his thing.  Christmas time was his favorite time.

A happy day for James and Wilma when his daughter married.

He loved the time with all the grandkids...here he feeds Corey.

James loved "photo bombing"!  We were a tight bunch.

James boost Brandon to see the parade, and you can see he enjoyed everything!

Another "photo bomb" moment!

As these few photos I found of him show, he loved us all.  It's in his eyes, in his smile.

I just wish I could remember it all, word for word, but it has been too many years.  I'm just thankful for all the years he was in my life.  He'll never be forgotten, but he'll be sorely missed.

I love you James!

TWO GREAT FAMILY DAY'S IN A ROW

Yep, nothing like family, and Sunday dinner and picking up Lily from school on Monday were great blessings for me.

Even having my four-legged grand-dog give me her "Wha'chu Talkin' 'Bout?" look put a smile in my heart!

Saturday out with the Knights (Ron and Steve), watching radio controlled airplanes and helicopters circle above our heads, sipping brews with pizza, are so much fun, but there is nothing like close family time.

Judy out did herself by cooking a 4-hour pot roast with potatoes, carrots, slaw, mac'n cheese, green beans, cornbread, and pecan pie for desert.  She invited Tracy, Katie, and Eddie over and they brought Roxy to beg at the table for leftovers!

We had a good time in the sun-room, relaxing, rubbing our bellies, watching Judy and Katie trying to find enough room in one chair, and teasing Roxy.  It was a very relaxing day.  We need more of those family times over a good meal, and Judy has promised to do it more often.

Since Katie had to get back to school to study for finals, the party broke up early.  However, it was the second day Judy and I had her around.  She had actually spent Friday night with us, giving them alone time piled up in the bed talking about boys, TV shows, and what was for breakfast!

Saturday morning she left early to attend a ball game with her young cousin, and I left to join Ron and Steve at the Tennessee Eagles airfield.

So, the weekend went fine and ended too soon.  It used to be sad because we knew we had to go to work Monday morning, but now it's sad because family has to leave to get ready for work and college.

However, for us, the family time continues on Mondays.  That's the day we pick Lily up after school.  

This Monday was to be a special day, a short visit with my mom.  We always stop and get something for a picnic out in her sun room.  Mom loves the time with Lily, 'cause she don't get to see Lily, or her sister, very often.  She watched every move Lily made, and she was in rare form today.

Lily laughed, poked fun at us, danced, flipped her hair band at us, and, in general, thoroughly entertained us.  These days she is quite different from her shy beginnings.  She rubs against us and hugs us, lets us hug and kiss on her, which used to be a "no no".  She was once quite independent and didn't like people touching her, but, boy, has that changed!  It's a change I've waited for for almost six years now!

We laughed at her blue tongue, from the "Blue Coconut" slush she wanted from Sonic, and simply adored every little thing she did and said.

So, tomorrow is Tuesday, and we're back to being by ourselves, which we also enjoy, but not like the times when family is around.  

Those are the "family days"!

SAYING A FINAL GOODBYE TO UNCLE TOM AND REKINDELING OLD RELATIONSHIPS

Within fourteen hours of being told he had a “mass” on his kidney and liver, Uncle Tom passed away quietly in a Florence, Alabama hospital last week. On Wednesday evening the family gathered to support Aunt Carolyn (and each other) in her grief. She had gone home to get a few things to make her overnight stay in the hospital room more comfortable; when she got the call telling her Tom had slipped away. She feels badly that she wasn’t there, but he was talking to her when she left. It was quite a shock to everyone and only began sinking in at the funeral services on Thursday morning.

It was too quick for the family, but quick enough that he didn’t suffer.

The family gathered on a hillside in Sheffield, Alabama, just across the river from Florence, to say goodbye. Uncle Tom served in the United States Air Force for over 20 years, so the Air Force sent a detail to the funeral. It was a very touching funeral with taps, an honor guard firing rounds in the air, the flag being removed and folded, and finally being presented to Aunt Carolyn.

After the pastor read from the Bible and said his prayer, the pallbearers filed by and left their boutonnières on top of the coffin.

The earlier service was marked by one of his granddaughters reading a poem she had written, one of his daughters reading letters received from friends who couldn’t make it, and a prayer Tom had written in his personal Bible. I read a few words that were heavy on my heart that centered on the “black pepper” incident I once posted.

As is normal for most extended families, we don’t see each other more than a couple of times each year, sometimes its twenty years, and more often than not, the circumstances revolve around a tragedy. “The Cousins” enjoyed seeing each other and we always take the time to take a group shot. We were missing a few in this one, but we are discussing an annual reunion that will keep us in touch. I’ve also encouraged Facebook as a means of staying involved in each others lives, and I have already added several cousins to my “relatives” list.

I don’t know what it is about the “cousins”, but they always make me “act up” and this gathering was no different. I was going around taking one handed photos of me and various cousins…usually the girls for some reason, and having a great time making them laugh.

Happy as we were, we missed, and will miss, Uncle Tom. For the past couple of decades he has kept the family close, taking grandmother’s place as the focal point for our family. It’s now up to us to keep the relationship going. I’m hoping Facebook and a possible annual reunion will do the trick. Otherwise, there is no doubt that we will drift further and further apart. Since we still enjoy “playing” with each other, as we did as kids, that would be an even worse tragedy.

YOU JUST CAN'T BEAT FAMILY!

My cousins and I (on my mother’s side) helped celebrate my Uncle Tom’s 70th birthday this weekend at Elk’s Club in Florence, Alabama.

I have not seen most of these cousins in more than 20 years, but we had not missed a step and had a great time reminiscing together. As you look at the photo, you may only see maturing faces, but to us we were all still playing in yard at Grandmother Williams’ house. I did not see the age in our eyes, but young faces running, screaming, and teasing each other as we always did. The youth will never fade from our memories, nor will our love for each other.

We only have my Mom, my Aunt Nell, and my Uncle Tom left out of the original elder family, and we cherish every moment we have with them. Also, we still have Aunt Audene and Uncle Lee who married into our family, and they make gatherings special as well.

Several cousins were missing, a couple sick, a few had to work, and some lived too far away. However, next time, we hope to see everyone together again.

There is nothing better than family!