LOOKING FORWARD

Back in the fall of 2010, I never would have thought I would still be alive!  

What with two stomach operations and surgery for kidney cancer, it seemed doubtful at times, especially those two weeks following my first Nissen fundoplication, when the doctor inadvertently stitched a nerve that controlled my diaphragm!  I could hardly walk across the room, and showering made it necessary for my wife to towel me off.  I would almost pass out from lack of oxygen.

With the help of God and a little retraining of my diaphragm muscle, I overcame that, and lived to have the same surgery again!

Just about the time I got over that, I discovered that I had a tumor on my left kidney.  Other than the pain drugs I was given, I made it through that pretty well.

So, yeah, honestly, when I look back I thought 2010 would be my last year on earth.  This September, it will only have been two years since the cancer scare, but it seems so much longer.

Now, I sit here, knowing that tomorrow morning I'll be again put to sleep for a "green laser" procedure on my prostate.  Not a real serious thing, but enough to give me pause to reflect.  I was once told that every time you are anesthetized, and put to sleep, you lose a little something!  Whether or not that true remains to be discovered, I just know I can't afford to drop off any brain power!  I guess that bothers me more than anything, but it has to be done.

So, this past week, knowing what I'm facing again, I tried to lose myself in the real life going on around me.  

Take last week's sixth birthday party for Lily!  What a day I had.  Again, I was on a t-ball field watching a granddaughter learning and playing the game.  How wonderful it is to be alive and having the privilege again of experiencing what I did with Katie Bug.  The best part, I still have Kinsley to go!

Lily will learn the game and teach her younger sister the ropes, and ol' Papaw will be on the sidelines grinning all over himself!

Lily also turned six on the same day.  To be with her, her sister, and my son and his wife, is pure love from above.  My heart gets so overjoyed that tears come to my eyes.

Right in the middle, came Mother's Day.  I love fixing the traditional hamburger for my mom, even if this year I had to stand in the rain to do it!  As you can see, I was successful, and it was all worth it to see that big smile!

I also got to be with Tracy, Katie, and Eddie to share a laugh or two.  Since Katie is off in school most days, it's always good to be with her every second I can.  She was the first, and we connected deeply in those early days.  We went on "ventures", finding out together where little overlooked roads led, and just talking about everything.  I miss that...so much, but now she's off, probably soon making a family of her own...more kids for me to spoil!

Lily also, it's been a good couple of weeks for her, graduated from kindergarten.  One Papaw, one Pop-pop, and one Baboo, along with one Gramby, one BeeBee, and one Momma Judy sat in the audience with huge grins and hearts, with eyes focused on her alone.  It probably was special for mom and dad too, but grandparents realize what is going on.  We are calling back all the days gone past when we really didn't pay close enough attention, and we don't want those moments to get away from us again.

It's like when we notice that the new puppy has grown up, we wish we could have kept it at that small and tender age when they had that beautiful puppy breath!  We know we can't keep them young forever, but grand children let us relive all those lost moments all over again.  Forgive us when we encourage you to have another child...that's all we're trying to do, to keep you young forever!

So, my prayer is that I'll again have more tomorrows and more Katie, Lily, and Kinsley to have "silly-time" with.  It's all I ever wanted...honestly!