Sunday, May 06, 2007


Woody had an adopted sister and soon after I met him I met Betty Anne and she was the first girl I was “sweet on” in Harriman. There were usually six of us hanging out at Woody and Betty Anne’s (Woody, his girlfriend, Barry’s girlfriend [more on Barry later], Betty Anne, and me) playing music, conducting light petting sessions, and sneaking cigarettes up in one of their rooms. Woody and Betty Anne had separate rooms upstairs, and as I said in the previous post, the parents had never been known to come up to either room since the kids left elementary school.

We played 45’s and huddled around a floor fan, set in the open window, that sucked the cigarette smoke out. Once, in our exuberance, we bumped the fan and it fell out the window, passing rapidly by the kitchen window below, where their mother stood daydreaming while washing dishes. “Woody? Betty Anne? Yawl alright up there?

“Yes mother, everything is fine, Betty Anne said, holding back her giggles.

One of us sneaked down the stairs, out the backdoor, and retrieved the fan. It made the fall, only losing one of the safety screens. We soon had it back in the window and working for us again.

Such a living arrangement was a dream situation for us teenagers, and sleepovers took on a whole new meaning for us in those days!

It all would begin with Woody finding out that Betty Anne was having a friend/s over on Friday night. He would invite me, or Barry, or both depending on the lineup, to spend the night with him and the fantasy planning and scheming began!

Truthfully, nothing in a fantasy ever works out as planned and not much serious ever happened during these times. Woody and I did get to sample a lot of lips and practice our techniques. My job was usually to ensure Betty Anne was occupied while Woody made a move on her girlfriend, but sometimes the girlfriends wanted to sample me as well!

I think in today’s world, such an arrangement would be a very dangerous situation. Probably in today’s world parents would monitor such an arrangement more closely, but in those days there were two things going for young girls.

First, boys respected girls, as a rule, more then than they seem to today. Oh yeah, we took it about as far as we could, but if a girl reacted in a certain negative way or flat out said, “What are you doing?”, or said “Stop” or “No”, we did. After which, we usually felt very ashamed for having taken them for granted and trying to make them out to be something they were not.

Second, girls respected themselves. There was a limit to how far they would let experimenting on “night moves” go and then they called it off. They cared about what we would think, what they would think of themselves, what their parents would think about them, and what the community thought about them later.

Self-respect seems to be blurred today. If an action can be rationalized away, then it is okay and you are allowed to feel good about yourself.

Sex is not really sex, as Bill Clinton explained to America’s youth, unless you actually have sexual intercourse. Oral sex is not really sex! Therefore, it is okay and a girl really has not been violated.

What a great arrangement we have today – sin is really not sin unless, of course, it really is – huh?


phaseoutgirl said...

Hi Mushy,

Found my way here through shrinkwrappedscream. I am gald I visited!

I have a teenage daughter, and she is one of those who believe in having good clean fun with her friend, just hanging out at friend's homes, playing some pool, drinking cola, drawing on the sidewalk with coloured chalk...some kids still do this, and I am glad mine does, it is not easy with all the pressure these days!

come visit my site if you can:


PS. Saw your cooking site too, think will also be a regular visitor there!

Shrink wrapped scream said...

I HOPE my eldest carries these values with him. I believe him to be a responsible kid, but I make sure I know the parents for any of the sleep-overs he attends.

Yesturday, I found an unopened bottle of alchopops in his room. He's 15, and can, so it appears, pass for eighteen.

It's so tough knowing how to respond. Do I ground him? (I had the odd illicit drink myself at his age.) Do I remove it, and say nothing? His dad and I don't want to overreact, sending him tumbling off to rebel. We settled upon both of us having a quiet stern word, and an explaination as to how he'd obtained it. He bought it from our local supermarket.

He was extremely embarrassed when I took him down there, and explained to the store manager they'd been selling alcohol to my under-age son.

I think I did right, I don't really know. There's no manual, or much moral support out there for us parents, is there?

As ever, another brilliant post, my dear Mushy, thought-provoking, and wonderfully told! Thank you.

Jose said...

You are so right, it's like you just described my youth. While I did have fun with girls it was always kind of innocent fun and respect for them was priority one. It is sad to see how moral values continue to dissapear little by little.

But I think there's still hope, sooner or later our youth will see the light and will realize that what they see on MTV is not the way to go.

Fathairybastard said...

A student of mine told the class the other day that at his old high school, so many girls have turned up pregnant that they've set up a day care center there in the school, so the girls can stay in school. I guess it's good for the boys, getting laid earlier and earlier these days, girls thinking oral sex is ok because you won't get pregnant, but is it good for the nation to have so many illigitimate kids and single mothers? Can't imagine it being a good thing.

Suldog said...

You beat me to it, FHB. I've gone to birthday parties for little kids in my family and it boggles my mind to see so many teenage moms and most of them without any arrangements concerning the dads of these kids. The younger teenagers, without kids yet, seem to be looking at them and chomping at the bit to be there. That's even scarier.

Zep said...

My youth in Germany was just the same and I really feel the same way you do. BTW: You know you made the equation sex=sin in your post, philosophically speaking?

David Sullivan said...

We used to play a lot of "spin the bottle" and "7 minutes in heaven".

Practice makes perfect, I say.

Its a different world today...a lot less innocent. Its unfortunate.

Rachelle Black said...

Hi Mushy- followed you through Shrink :))

David, you must be about my age because that was my world too. We never went past second base (outside the clothes even) and reputations mattered.

Nowadays kids are 'hooking up' and taking Clinton's view to heart.

I have 2 teens, 13 girl (beautiful and looks 16 already- YIPES!!) and 15 yo son. What they tell me that goes on at their schools is enough to curl my hair... and I am a product of the 70's and 80's!!
Love your blog!