BACK FROM THE CONCH REPUBLIC – PART TWO

Mr. and Ms. Mushy had a ball in Key West, from the day trip in the rented convertible, from which Ms. Mushy would occassionally let out an “East Tennessee War Hoot” and scare the wildlife (she flushed a Key Deer at least once), to the sunset cruise and free music, horsedovaries with suds, wine, and/or margirettas!

Mushy and two of the other “Knights” (see Part One) can be seen in the background, almost lost in the daylight streaming in through the open windows of The Green Parrot. You don’t find too many doors, screens, or air conditioning in the famous bars, or restaurants for that matter, of Duval Street, or on any other street for that matter. As a matter of fact, you might find a rooster, hen with chicks, or a cat laying under your table.

You don’t need windows when you aren’t bothered by bugs…don’t remember seeing one mosequito or gnat the whole trip, well, except for when we got back to Atlanta.

The hour we got to spend there was almost worth the whole trip. If you can’t sit back and relax here, you might as well not look for another bar. There was only one waitress when we were there, but I’ve never seen another gal work one as hard. All the bar stools, somewhere between 40 and 50 were full, and a couple of the tables and wall seats were occupied, but she knew who was next, what they had been drinking and never let a glass or bottle go dry. The “tip bell” rang several times, which is the sign of happy customers!

I’ve never had the pleasure of being there at night with the music going, but I’d would bet no one goes away grumbling about bad service. Besides, “snivelling ain’t allowed” even if you wanted to complain! Oh yeah, No Credit Cards are allowed either.

We visited Sloppy Joe’s twice, more because it was centrally located and had live entertainment day and night. Here are two shots, one with the Dragons and three of the Knights, and another taken by a Dragon of all the Knights! You’ll notice we sat a different tables, so each table could flirt all they wanted and more than the waitresses wanted.

Yep, you have to pace yourself on this kind of vacation, otherwise, you’ll end up in a restroom with somebody photographing all your business! It’s a lonely feeling to be first – right Ron?

Okay…I ran on and out of room again, so one more with sunset shots next! Just for Bozette!

FOR WHOM THE POLYDACTYLS MEOW

One of the other reasons to vacation in the Conch Republic (Key West) is the beautiful old homes and, of course, the ocean with its spectacular sunsets. You can look down some streets and see from the Atlantic to the Gulf of Mexico or “from sea to shining sea” as one tour guide put it! It became evident as I prepared this that it was just too long, so, I will break this up into two parts, with this one concentrating mostly the polydactyls of the Hemingway house! I will do the sunsets on the next post, and then we will get back to BEER!

The homes are not only beautiful due to their age and architecture, but because of the varied fauna from around the tropical world made possible by the climate of the Keys. If it can grow in a jungle from South America, a tropical island, or Africa, it can grow in the Keys. Many non-indigenous plants have been brought to the keys by homeowners, and some have now been banned. For example, the Banion tree can no longer be planted there – the Banion tree grows where it wants!

One of the most intriguing homes is the Ernest Hemingway Museum and Home, which still feels lived in, to some degree, because his cats still have free range there. The cats lay around the house and the grounds as if they owner will be right back to feed them, and in a way he will. Hemingway provided for the cats in his will and they rule the roost! There are approximately 60 cats living on the property today, half of them polydactyl. A few of these cats are descendents of Hemingway's first cat.

These cats are almost as famous as their ancestor’s owner because they have extra toes (technically known as polydactyl, Latin for "many digits").

The normal cat has 18 toes (five on each front foot and four on the rear) found on most cats, polydacts have six or more toes on the front feet, and sometimes an extra toe on the rear. The cats living here have been given the nickname "Hemingway Cats.”

The black cat pictured has at least 7, and is the same cat shown drinking out of the “unique trough.” It is easy to see why they are sometimes called “Mitten Cats!” And yes, polydactyls are the result of inbreeding, but they no longer reproduce in this kind of atmosphere, but at least some of the cats still carry the original gene. Most of the cats are spayed and/or neutered, but at least a couple are allowed to carry on the gene pool! These are the “real” lucky ones!

The “unique trough” is really a urinal from the original Sloppy Joe’s Bar, which Ernest picked up off the street when Sloppy Joe moved (see last post). Hemingway’s wife had it tastefully tiled, and put in the “jug fountain” in order to “save face” in the neighborhood. Some say he brought it home as joke in response to his wife spending a huge amount on a pool for the backyard!

The cats rarely drink directly from the trough, but rather stand on it and lick up the water as it runs down the side of the jug.

Aren’t you proud of me…I didn’t write about killing cats for once!

BACK FROM THE CONCH REPUBLIC – PART ONE

There are only two reasons to vacation in the paradise of the Conch Republic as best I can determine, and this post is about one of them!

Key West, Florida (actually all the Keys lay claim to this phrase) is known as “a little drinking village with a fishing problem” and that brings us to reason one. It appears to this traveler that there are more bars in the “Keys” than in the rest of the world. I doubt you could ever have a drink in all the bars in just Key West if you had one drink a day in as many bars as you could each day for an entire year. Sounds like it would be fun to try it though!

Our group of four sisters (The Dragons) and their husbands (Knights of the Beer Table) did not try to find them all, but having been there once before we went back to the most popular and had several in honor of all the rest!

The majority favored Yuengling, from America’s Oldest Brewery, which was on tap in most establishments. We remembered Sunset Ale, from a previous trip, but it seemed a touch bitter this time, so Yuengling won The Knights’ award.

We visited the following six Key bars in order of preference:

The Green Parrot Bar – We prefer this one because it is strictly local. However, locals tolerate Hawaiian, Croc, logo T-shirt wearing, and camera toting mainlanders who add money to the local economy. The nighttime blues music is a plus for this pub, but to us it is the bar’s clientele that keeps us going back. The man with his dog that lapped beer at the bar did not come by during the time we got to spend there this trip, but you rarely find that at Hooter’s!

Sloppy Joe’s – For the best “anytime” entertainment this is the place and the food ain’t bad either! There is always some good solo or small band performing while you eat cholesterol prepared your favorite way. Finding a table may be difficult, but a table for eight is almost impossible after dark.

No Name Pub - Now if you travel about 30 miles back toward Miami from Key West, just north of Big Pine Key, and just 10 miles to the south of the “Seven Mile Bridge,” you will be on the No Name Key. No Name Key is home to the endangered Key Deer and we saw a couple as we drove through in our rented convertible. The pub is quaint and plastered bill-upon-bill with dollar bills!

We enjoyed the conch fritters and watched a beautiful pizza, heaped with everything but the kitchen table, being eaten at the table next to us! That was a work of art! We were finally asked to leave when the table with the pizza complained about the staring, watering mouthed, buzzards sitting across from them!

The Smallest Bar In Key West (no website) – I mention this because it is quite small (two stools), just what you see shown, but a very friendly proprietor made us welcomed as we stopped to refresh our traveling supplies and dropped off a few Mushy’s Moochings Blogness Cards! I know, I am shameless! We also met Capt. Dave Grow (white cap on left) there, which only proves it is liked by the locals too.

Captain Tony’s – This one is linked to Sloppy Joe’s in that it is the original location of Sloppy Joe’s where Ernest Hemingway hung out. However, Sloppy moved because the rent went up a whopping $1.50 per month back in 1937. He moved to the current location in one day by offering free drinks to everyone who moved a piece of furniture. He took everything including the doorknobs and urinals, which I will tell about in a future post.

Anyway, Captain Tony’s has great bar service, good music, and room to shoot pool if you are not a partier!

I would have placed the Hog’s Breath Saloon here, but three nights in a row we could not find room at the inn! We did stand in the parking lot one evening listening to the entertainment, but as soon as our buzz faded, we moved on seeking refuge! The only thing I can tell you about the saloon is that they have a good bathroom.

I know by now you are wondering, “Is that all Mushy did in Key West?” Well, we also did a little fishing! Remember…"a little drinking village with a fishing problem!”

More on the other things later…

Update! A comment poster said this: If anyone makes it to 'Smallest Bar' before November, 2008, can you tell Mark or Dano (the bartenders) that 'Team Smallbar Chicago' says 'Hey!!!'Thanks!