TAKING THINGS INTO HIS OWN HANDS

Part of the fun of being on base patrol, especially on night shift, was that you could visit some of the “parking”, or “sparking” (as my dad used to call them in his day) spots around the base. Young lovers are quite ingenious at finding little hidden or less traveled areas of an Air Force Base where they can be alone. If you have ever been a “young lover,” and you did not have your own place yet, then you know exactly how ingenious!

However, sometimes a “would be lover” can be down right unimaginative!

Early one Sunday morning, around 2 or 3 AM, I made a routine check through a parking lot at the rear of several student barracks. I knew that girls sometimes brought Airmen back to base and some tended to take a little too long to say goodnight! I was on the prowl and up to no good!

As I made a turn at the end of a row of vehicles, my headlights lit up something familiar – feet, feet sticking up from the back seat over the front seat. This, or the top of a head, or someone’s backside mooning me, was what I was hoping to find!

I quickly pushed the lights to their parking position and dismounted the truck with flashlight in hand. A quick flash of the light and I could tell that whoever it was had apparently missed or ignored the lights of my vehicle. The feet remained still, hanging over the front seat as I approached. “Perhaps they are staying still thinking I will not see them,” I thought to myself.

Standing just a couple of feet from the rear window, I smiled with anticipation at what I was about to see.

FLICK! The flashlight was full on, yet the Airman did not move. “Ah, he’s asleep, but what is in his lap?” I asked myself.

As I moved up the window and shined the light fully on him, my jaw dropped and my eyes bugged out! There he was, fast asleep, pants pushed down, and he was holding firmly to his manhood with his right hand! Yep, the “little Airman” was at full attention, but his commander had long since stopped commanding the situation!

I took giant steps backward, wheeled around, and ran back to the side of my truck, where I burst out laughing! “Keesler Police, Unit 2.”

“Go ahead Unit 2.”

“Keesler Police, please have Unit 3 rendezvous with this unit at…” I said giving my location and doing a good job of hiding my excitement!

Unit 3, that night, was David Hillberry, a good ol’ boy from West “by god” Virginia. He seemed about a foot taller than I was and weighed almost as much as Sgt. Webb, and therefore was a much more imposing figure than I could have been at the time. He was a fun loving troop who had a lovely wife and baby and was the only “married personnel” on A Flight. From time to time, I used to visit him and his family in their home in base housing.

Hillberry rolled into the rear of the parking lot and as he approached, he too extinguished his lights and got out. “What’s up?”

“Follow me…you ain’t go’na believe this.”

It was the cool time of year in Biloxi and so the Airman had left the windows up to keep out the night air, so there was no real danger of him hearing us walk up to the car.

I turned on my flashlight and lit up the backseat, and almost instantly, Hillberry covered his mouth to stifle his laughter and backed up a few steps. As soon as we composed ourselves, he asked me what I wanted to do.

I explained that I did not want to get the guy in any trouble, but we did need to teach him a lesson.

Hillberry said, watch this. He walked up to the window and loudly tapped on the window with the butt of his flashlight.

Immediately the surprised Airman rose straight up, banging his head hard against the roof of the car, making a loud metallic popping sound, as if someone had run headlong into the side of a car door headfirst!

Simultaneously, the Airman began scrambling and fumbling with his pants, and with the “little Airman” at “parade rest”, he finally managed to get them up and fastened. However, he sat there with his arms across his lap as if nothing had happened.

Hillberry tapped the window again and hollered for him to get out.

I was standing to the side and just behind David, trying my best not to laugh and not to let the young Airman see my face.

“What the hell are you doing?” Hillberry said, screaming like a drill sergeant right into the troop’s right ear.

“I…I…I went to town (sniff),” he began, starting to cry and whipping snot on his sleeve, “…and, and I couldn’t find a girl, and I was so horny (sniff)…and I miss my girl…my girl back home.” At this point, he was bawling like a baby with more snot coming out of his nose, mixing with saliva coming from his open mouth, and he was sucking in short breaths of air.

“Well, why in the hell are you out here in public Airman?” Hillberry pressed.

“I…I…I don’t know, I…I just got…drunk, and couldn’t help it! Awh man…I’m sorry,” he sobbed.

“Why didn’t you go inside…go in the latrine or some place man?”

Hillberry did all the talking because I just could not get out a word that sounded anywhere close to authority!

“I know…I know I should have…I’m sorry.”

“Go on troop, get your ass in that building and don’t ever let us catch you out here like that gain. YOU UNDERSTAND?”

“Yessir!”

“Get!”

With that, David and I turned and walked back to the trucks and then burst out laughing again. However, we soon ended our little entertainment break with David saying, “You know, I kinda felt sorry for the poor guy.”

“Yeah,” I said, “there but for the grace of God…”

“I know what ch’a mean man,” David agreed with a big smile on his face.

That was a lesson two Airman, well, maybe three, never forgot!

DON’T DO AS I DO, DO AS I SAY!

The Christmas and New Year’s Holidays brought shift changes to Keesler AFB for many permanent party groups. The Air Police normally operated with four Flights rotating the midnight, evening, days, and off shifts, with 24 hours off between shift changes (so I was reminded by PRH recently). The shifts were normally broken into 3 days of each shift, with the last shift being 3 days off.

However, during Christmas and New Years two Flights alternated 12-hour shifts while the other two Flights took “leave” and usually went home for five days. Then two Flights returned while the first group took their short leave.

The best present you could get for the holiday was to work the first 12 on 12 off shifts, so that when you returned you went back into the normal routine. Otherwise, a week of relaxing with family was ruined by having to work the grueling 12-hour shifts!

Only one of the holiday rotations is clear in my memory, or it could a combination of the two holiday seasons I had a Keesler.

We prepared for the 12-hour Christmas Day or New Year’s Day shifts by gathering three clean garbage cans from our friends at the chow halls. We then requisitioned enough ice to fill them. Before topping the garbage cans off with the ice, we filled them about half way with canned beer!

One of the cans was placed at each of the three off-site radar facilities that we routinely checked several times each shift. The inspections were normally performed by the patrol that rode the area surrounding the back gate, where a highway from Gulfport came directly into the back of the base. Off this highway were the three dirt roads that lead to the radar sites.

However, during these festive times, each patrol got their turn to leave their normal areas, exiting the base through the back gate (Gate 7 if memory serves), and headed for the radar site/s. Once at the sight the unit went 10-6 (busy) and checked the fence and locks, and then grabbed themselves a beer – or two!

This was how we celebrated the holiday and forgot about not being at home. The beer trips rotated during the shifts, and by mid-shift, most Air Policemen were pretty happy. Even the gate guards got their turns, with the patrolman standing their duty while they were gone. However, we were sworn to uphold the law, and uphold it we did.

I remember driving along, feeling good, not drunk, but with a mid-level buzz, and seeing some Airman weaving along a base street in front of me. “He’s drunk,” I said out loud as I reached for the toggle switch that turned on the huge chrome-clad combo red light and siren atop the Ford Econoline.

“AWWWAHHH,” it bellowed, while at the same time sucking all the electrical power from the electrical system, causing the engine to bog and slow the truck by at least 10 MPH! You soon learned to flick the toggle back and forth quickly in order to keep your truck from stalling!

The Airman pulled to the side of the street and stopped. I could see him digging from his ID card and license as I walked up the rear of the driver side window.

“Step out of the vehicle sir.” It was our custom to be polite and courteous of everyone; at least until we found out if they were an officer.

“Yeeaah…shur,” he slurred as he opened the door and braced himself, carefully using the car door and the top of the car.

I do not remember the routine we used in those days to determine sobriety, but I am sure it was more a judgment call in those days, and I was calling this guy “drunk!” He could barely form sentences, and if he were not holding the car, he would almost go down.

Now mind you, at this point, I too was feeling no pain, and the least little thing would set me to laughing almost uncontrollably. I got the cuffs on the guy, helped him up into the passenger seat of the truck, and we both laughed all the way to AP HQ!

There we stood, both of us weaving back and forth, actually using each other to steady ourselves, in front of the Desk Sergeant. The only difference between us was that I knew the other guy was drunk.

I voiced the circumstances and charges to the Desk Sergeant, who grinned, and took down the information. The apprehended Airman was taken to a holding cell in the stockade, and I mounted up and resumed my patrol.

As soon as I entered my patrol area, I informed the Desk Sergeant that I was 10-8 (back in service), and promptly requested permission to check one of the off-site facilities. I was getting a little dry!

“Uh, that’s a negative Unit 4, I believe you have done your service to the off-sites for this shift,” the Desk Sergeant announced. I remember hearing laughter in the background as his transmission ended. Was it Webb? Can’t remember.

While it is not commendable that a law enforcement officer would drive drunk while on duty, I ask you to remember that they are human, and when off duty, will do many, if not all, of the things you do when you are off. If you happen to catch one of them in the act, they would simply say, “Don’t do as I do, do as I say!”

SERGEANT WEBB AT HIS BEST

In the previous post, I began to describe the Desk Sergeant’s area. It was about a ten-foot diameter area in the center of a large fourteen or fifteen by fifteen foot room, circled by a desktop area that encircled all but the three-step entrance up through a swinging door to the rear of the area and opposite the side the Desk Sergeant usually sat, or more normally stood.

The the desktop was about thirty inches above the main floor, and the desktop, and shelves beneath it, made up a walled ring around the Desk Sergeant’s area. Above the desktop was a Plexiglas ring, about twenty-four inches high, protecting the area from people walking through the area, but gave the Desk Sergeant a 360-degree view of the Air Police HQ operations area. This made the overall height of the Desk Sergeant’s platform about seven feet from the top of the glass to the floor.

The raised floor, on which the Desk Sergeant stood gave him a commanding view of the entire HQ area. From his perch, he could look down on anyone coming in the front door and walking up to the three-foot opening in front of the Plexiglas to ask questions, plead his/her case or voice his complaints on traffic violations and other issues, or for patrols to bring in appended Airmen for identification and disposition.

The Desk Sergeant usually stayed out of the main conversations between the Patrolmen and their arrest, and just stuck to documenting the incident in the Desk Blotter, and ensuring the proper forms were completed and signed.

On one eventful midnight shift, Sgt. Webb brought in, rather shoved in, through the front door, a very belligerent and obviously drunk Airman. The loud commotion took me by surprise and I jumped to my feet and looked over the side of the desk at the Airman that was now lying on the floor attempting to get up without the use of his arms, which were cuffed behind him.

The Airman looked up at me and yelled, “What’chu lookin’ at?”

“Uh, you,” I snapped back!

“Get your ass up,” Sgt. Webb said, reaching down and pulling the guy up to his feet.

“Hey, you better watch it asshole,” he fumed!

Sgt. Webb again shoved the drunk on toward the rear of my Desk Sergeant platform and made him take a seat in a chair along the wall near the side entrance door. Every time Sgt. Webb would start to walk away, the Airman would jump up, only to be pushed back down in the chair again.

“You damn APES (a derogatory term developed from AP) are all assholes,” he spewed in Webb’s direction.

“Sit down and shut up!” Webb yelled back.

The third time the Airman sprang to his feet, Sgt. Webb grabbed his right arm and forced him up the three steps and through the short swinging door and onto my level. Webb grabbed a rolling office chair and handcuffed the Airman’s arms to each of the chair’s arms.

The Airman could not stand up, but he could scoot the chair about. He then made a near fatal mistake.

“You damn APES are stupid,” he said looking at me and spitting in my direction!

Sgt. Webb boiled and spilled over! His big booted foot suddenly lashed out and caught one arm of the chair and he pushed with all his might!

Through the swinging door, and bypassing the three steps, the Airman landed face first on the hard tiled floor below. The Airman made an “Ooffff” sound as he bounced to a limp stop next to the chairs along the wall. His face was against the floor, turned slightly to one side, and looked distorted from the full weight of the chair and his body on top of him. The room became so quiet we heard the chair’s rollers spin to a stop.

Everyone but Webb held their breath, just knowing the Airman did not survive the fall. However, by the time Webb ambled over to where he lay, he began to show signs of life!

Even if the fall had killed him, Sgt. Webb probably would not have shown any concern. He bent down close to the Airman’s ear and whispered something none of us could hear. The Airman blinked his eyes, shook his head, and then allowed Webb to right the chair without resisting.

I would love to be able to tell you what Sgt. Webb said to the Airman, but I do not have a clue. Suffice it to say, there was not a peep from him the rest of the morning.

The next morning the Airman was lead away to the stockade.

I always felt safer with Sgt. Webb around, even before this incident, but this just sealed the deal for me. I gained a new self-respect and sense of pride for being an Air Policeman on “A Flight,” and more importantly, a Desk Sergeant that night. I was determined to be the best at what I did, not only for me, but also for him.

MY BILOXI BLUES

Some visitors to Keesler AFB were sometimes amazed how I knew to throw up my white-gloved hand and stop them as they approached the gate. It is quite simple really, authorized vehicles had little vinyl decals on the drivers side bumper that were color coded from Airman (red), NCOs (yellow), Officers (blue), and Civilian employees (green). There is nothing particularly hard about that but unauthorized personnel do not realize this and think the Air Policeman at the gate is either psychic or just stops everyone coming through!

“How did you know to stop me? I saw you waving all those other cars ahead of me through,” the pretty brunette asked.

“Oh, just intuitive I suppose Miss,” I said as I stepped down to the street level, bent forward and looked into the car. “Where you ladies headin’?”

“Airmen’s Club, of course.”

“Driver’s license please Miss, uh…”

“Smith...and this is Debbie Bates,” she said pointing to her blond passenger.

“What on earth for?” I said as I waved an Airman and two NCOs on around through the passing lane.

“Why didn’t they have to stop?” pointing through the windshield at the other cars.

“Oh, I know them, but I don’t know you. Now, Miss, uh?”

“Betsy,” she said rather shyly taking back her license.

“See, I’m gettin’ to know you already….Betsy. Now, Betsy, why are you going to the Airman’s Club?” I said waving an officer on through.

“To dance of course! Don’t you dance?”

“Well, I have been known to do the Freddie from time-to-time, but not on the gate…at least not anymore,” I said with a big “inside joke” kind of smile on my face.

“So, what time do you get off….uh Officer?” the blond asked.

“Oh, thank you mam, but I’m just a lowly Skycop, and I get off about midnight.”

“Think you could dance then?”

“Deb!” Betsy said embarrassed at her friend’s boldness.

“Well?” Debbie shot back.

“Well, if two lonely Airmen were standing right over here at midnight, do you suppose a couple pretty girls would stop and take them on a ride along the beach?”

“Yeah…” Debbie started before Betsy interrupted.

“What she means is…” she looked up at me, and I removed my sunglasses and looked back into her dark eyes, “…is probably.”

‘You DO have a friend…don’t you, ah, Mr. Sky Cop?” the blond asked.

“That’s Mushy (not his real name), and yes I have a friend that I know would be thrilled to meet you.”

I stepped back up to the gate shack level, grabbed a Visitor’s Pass, and handed it to Betsy. “You ladies be real careful down at the Airmen’s Club, ya hear, and I hope to see you both later.”

I guess the point here is that there were advantages of working the boring “gate duty,” especially “Main Gate” duty. This did not happen often, but often enough to break the repetitiveness of always going out with the guys or just Boyce. The guys were okay, but occasionally, well, you know.

I immediately rang up the Desk Sergeant and asked him to have Patrolman Spainhour drop by Gate 1.

Wayne had come to Keesler to learn to be a Skycop through OJT. He was there straight out of Lackland, but he and I had quickly bonded early on over drinks and from sharing adjacent “walking patrols.” We talked for hours, ran to punch our clocks, and then rushed to our next rendezvous to take up where we left off. Wayne was a Southern Gentleman, and that, plus his boyish good looks, made him a favorite of the local gals.

Wayne did not believe me until a few minutes after midnight when the girls rolled up and he got a good look at the Debbie! “Damn!” is all he could utter.

Wayne settled in the back seat with Deb and I took the “shotgun” position and gave Betsy the once over while we were still beneath the Main Gate’s lights.

The black dress she wore puffed up under the stirring wheel, several layers of petticoat marked where the dress stopped, and the long darkly tanned legs began. The dress lay flat across her belly and her long tan arms held the wheel firmly at 10 and 2.

It seemed as though she was afraid to look in my direction. She checked her outside mirror and pulled forward, up and over the tracks, and on to the beach where she turned right toward Gulfport.

At some point, she made a right and headed back deep into the coastal area forest. The road turned to dirt and the full light of the moon was nearly blocked by the huge Willow Oaks strung with long strands of Spanish moss. The moss hung very still in the night air, but it was still a pleasant night for driving.

“What’s this?” I asked.

“It’s Charlie’s Place…never been here?”

“Nope.”

“Then you are in for a treat!”

She was right. There was a huge buffet of “soul food” steaming on a long line of trays, and the place was nearly packed. In the beginning, you had to shout to be heard over the crowd.

There was chicken, chicken livers, black eyed peas, grits, hog jowl, pinto beans, slaw, macaroni and cheese, and other wonderful things I cannot remember. In addition, of course, there was beer…all kinds of beer of the day, Schlitz, Falstaff, Budweiser, Country Club, and Colt 45!

There was also music of the day playing loudly on a jukebox that bubbled and flashed bright colors, and reflected the happy faces of its listeners! It was such a wonderful place, and it appeared, it was a place frequented by mostly locals.

Soon it was just the four of us, and one or two other couples, content to sit and talk, listen, or dance to the juke, and have another round. The family staff busied themselves with putting things back in order, ignoring us except for an occasional “Need anotha round, hun?”

Betsy and I, Deb and Wayne, swayed to the soft music that was now the choice of most quarters that were dropped.

She was such a beautiful Southern beauty and already I was addicted to holding her and to smelling the hair on the right side of her head. I could feel the heat of her body through the dress and I wanted more than I could ever have. I whispered my wishes and she pulled me tighter.

Later we all four lay on the beach and listened to the waves lapping the shore. We kissed and we talked until daylight. We probably kissed more than we talked, but the things we said were phrased as if there would be a tomorrow. However, there was no tomorrow for us.

That was the last time Wayne and I ever say those same girls again. Time after time, we played that scene repeatedly but with different girls. Oh, we might be blue a day or two, but we soon forgot about it and got on with the game.

Girls visited the base looking for a lot of things, but it seemed the ones that were the easiest to pick up had a long-term plan. A Sky Cop just did not hold the best meal ticket for those plans, but we were good enough for a one-night-stand and hell, that did not bother us in the least!

As Bob Seger put it so eloquently, “we were gettin’ our share…workin’ on our night moves.”

WATCHING IN THE MISSISSIPPI NIGHT

If you walk out of your home, apartment, or any building at night, you find the night full of shadows that make the mind imagine it sees all sorts of devilish things. However, if you stand in the shadows and allow the darkness slowly to surround you, you will be amazed at how well you can see – at how comfortable you find yourself there.

I learned this as a young boy, running the neighborhoods at night playing hide-and-go-seek, avoiding the occasional clothesline, garden hose, or hanging birdhouse or feeder. It all came back to me as I performed “night watchman” duties at Keesler AFB. The added night experienced also served me in Vietnam.

A patrol would drop me off on the border of my assigned grid of buildings, and I would walk away from any light and stand in the shadows until I got my night-vision. Dressed in my fatigues, carrying a flashlight, a night watchman’s clock, a two-way radio, and a clipboard with all sorts of information and area maps, I was almost invisible as I moved about my appointed rounds on the base.

There was a sense of power you felt in this stealthy situation, and of course, I had my 1911 as added confidence.

The clock at the right is a very modern model, but very similar in shape and configuration to the one I carried. Night watching began many years ago, and was a simple process of ensuring someone visited buildings, checked the doors and windows, and secure areas on a routine basis during off hours.

The processes involved securing a “numbered key” to a building, or to several points around the perimeter of a building or area, and having a “night watchman” check the building at specific times. The visit is confirmed by inserting the “coded key” into a clock and making it record the key number and the exact time of each visit. On a checklist, the guard verifies he has checked all entrances and that no one has entered.

The procedure was a good one, but not foolproof to the foot-patrol who was determined to goof off. If you could imagine your assigned area from an aerial view, you could determine the shortest routes between buildings going cross-country, rather than walking along the outside perimeter. Therefore, you could spend more time doing what you wanted to do, meet another foot-patrol for a BS session, or just duck in somewhere to catnap or get warm! There was also the use of a motor patrol buddy who would let you ride around until it was time to “click” a time clock, and then have them drive you quickly there. If a system can be beaten, then some desperate person will find a way!

I always made the complete circuit by foot at least twice a tour of duty, once the first hour, and then the hour before getting relieved. On one particular night, I was making my first round after assuming the foot-patrol at midnight. You would expect that everything would be buttoned up securely, or the guy before you would have found it. However, on this night I turned the key in my clock and started to walk on by a door when I tried the knob just for grins. It opened!

The facility was a Laundromat, full of washers and dryers, and all kinds of drink and food vending machines. My heart began pounding in my chest! It was the first time I had ever found a door unlocked, and I immediately conjured up all kinds of bad guys inside waiting for me to enter.

I immediately stepped away from the door, back to the shadows, and radioed for a patrol to assist me. After hearing my description of the situation, the Desk Sergeant dispatched two patrols.

Within minutes the patrols arrived, red lights flashing, headlights on bright and aimed at the now open door. A tall skinny black Airman First, later called a “Buck Sergeant,” came to where I was standing and asked me what I saw.

“Nothing…the door was just unlocked!” I explained. “Wonder why they didn’t find it on the evening shift?”

“Good question,” he said, “…or, there’s someone in there now.”

The Airman First motioned for the other patrol to stand at the door and for me to go inside to check things out, and that he would follow me. I swallowed a couple of times and proceeded. Just before clearing the door, I looked back at the Airman and caught him giving that “let’s watch the new guy get the crap scared out of him” grin to the other Patrolman! He quickly recovered and with a more serious face motioned for me to go on.

I made careful and deliberate steps into the dark building, shining my flashlight into every opening and around every corner. It was soon evident that there was nothing there and that there never had been, but there was one more closet to check before backing off and locking up.

I slowly made my way up to the door, sensing the Airman standing right behind me. As I reached for the doorknob, a Coke machine suddenly and loudly snapped on right behind the black Airman. He made a little girly squeak in his throat, whirled around, and came within ounces of squeezing off a round from his .45 into the machine!

All this was witnessed by the Patrolman at the door who was now belly laughing and bracing himself against the side of the building.

“Wh’cu laughin’ at asshole?”

“You asshole! Were you going to shoot the big bad of Coke machine?”

Long story short, I was sworn to secrecy, but I did not have to keep quiet long. At the next Guard Mount, my witness gave it up to Sgt. Webb and the whole Flight. They all laughed, including Sgt. Webb, long and hard.

It was a bonding time for me. I now had a story and something in common with the older troops on the Flight. It was a beginning for me. I now felt like I belonged to the group and that they belonged to me. It was another good thing that happened in the Mississippi night.

“AND YOU ALWAYS FEEL OUT NUMBERED…”

I know, in this photograph, I do not look very formidable, but the truth is when you are alone on the street and you face overwhelming situations, your “second nature training” is enhanced by the adrenaline produced by fear. It is also surprising that you can hide your fear with a confidence that even you did not know you had.

Not too long after I began getting “law enforcement” patrol assignments, I encountered my first anxious situation. Looking back on it later, I knew I should have called for backup, but things just happened so quickly. In addition, as I say, Air Police Training makes you react quickly, as if it were only a training scenario, and the “adrenaline high” masks the obvious dangers of certain situations.

I was making a routine pass through the Keesler Airman’s Club parking lot late one Saturday when four guys, dressed in civilian clothes, came out of the club and started out across a wide grassy lawn toward a line of cars parked under a row of pine trees.

I noticed that they were tugging at one of the guys, and the fellow was obviously fighting back at them. Suddenly the guy who was slapping at the others, and getting louder, fell to the ground and turned over on his back.

This is the point I should have called in, especially since there were four of them and one of me. Instead, I pulled up and parked the truck with my bright lights full on the four individuals, got out, and walked toward the group.

Just as I got to the guy on the ground he regurgitated straight up and the whole mess fell back in his face. He just lay there and moaned, as one of his friends said, “Ah man, get up…what the hell?”

The drunk (on the ground) just lay there without any seeming regard for the puke all over his face. All he seemed to be able to do was moan.

I yelled, “You guys his friend?”

“Yeah,” one said, as they began slowly side step and get further apart around me.

“Are you stationed here?” I demanded to know, beginning now to shake way down inside.

“No…we’re ah, Coast Guard…from down in Gulf Port,” one offered.

I asked for IDs and confirmed there names, rank, and branch of service, and then asked where their vehicle was. One pointed in the general direction, and I said, as deeply and manly as possible, “Get this drunk off my base!”

“Yes, sir,” they said in unison, sensing they were getting off light. They went to where their friend lay and began trying to get him up. The guy lay flat out, arms and legs out to his sides as if he were ready to begin making “grass angels,” and refused to move.

It soon became obvious that the three guys could do nothing with their friend – he simply was incapable of moving. I walked over and looked the guy over with my flash light and I got more and more disgusted with his appearance, and lack of self-respect.

Feeling my legs want to begin a little shake, I yelled, “Damn it! Get that car door open!”

I reached in my pocket, pulled out a ballpoint pen and placed it under the second finger (the gig finger) of his right hand, and across the tops of his first and third fingers. Then, as someone once told me, but I had never tried, I squeezed down as hard as I could on the three fingers! Remarkably, the drunk rose to his feet, his right arm straight out, and began to walk like a zombie along beside me moaning loudly!

His friends looked at me wide-eyed and began to get angry with me. “Hey, you’re hurting him!”

“Get that damn door open!” I yelled.

One guy opened the back door of their vehicle and I walked “my drunk” even quicker to the open door. Just as we reached the door, I shoved him toward the opening and his head, just about the hairline, caught the opening and made a loud “thunking” sound! However, his momentum carried him on into the back seat.

Later as I sat reviewing the events, I thought at the point, particularly because of the way his head snapped back, that I may have broken his neck! Apparently that did not happen – thank God!

The others looked glaringly in my direction, but then I reached for the door and slammed it shut; only, in the dark, I did not see that his right leg was still hanging out the door. There was another loud “thunk,” and the drunk uttered another low pain induced moan. He then lay motionless in the dark!

Now, their eyes looked frightened at the bad assed “Sky Cop” who again bellowed, “Get him off my damn base, and don’t ever come back!”

“Yes sir,” was all I heard and they drove off into the night.

I stood there and watched the taillights disappear, and for a long time, I breathed deeply, trying to calm myself. It was my first real law enforcement encounter and I wondered if I had over reacted. I also wondered how things would have turned out had I not acted so wild myself. It was pure intimidation and it worked.

It was not my last encounter with drunks, but this first event bolstered my confidence for the future.

I could never understand a person who could get so drunk they had no control over or self-respect for themselves. To puke straight up into the air and then let it hit and stay on their face - something so wrong about that! I did not know until this happened, what a lack of tolerance I have for mean or sloppy drunks.