MUSHY'S MOOCHINGS: beast within
Showing posts with label beast within. Show all posts
Showing posts with label beast within. Show all posts

Sunday, May 13, 2007

THE FIGHT CLUB

Looking back, I had a lot of fistfights in school, starting with the third grade, having had a scary episode with the “beast within” that I described earlier.

David was the first guy I met in Harriman that junior year that I felt deserved to have his head taken off. I do not know why he first rubbed me raw and instilled such a dislike for him, but it happened.

The first fight episode ended with the principal getting in the last and more memorable licks!

Purely by accident, because I am not normally a bully, my foot hit some books hanging out of David’s desk and they went sprawling out on the floor. “Don’t do that again,” he said before I could excuse myself!

I looked up surprised and caught the eye of two other fellow students with that “Go on! Do it again and see what happens,” look in their eyes.

So, I nudged the books out again and again David warned me, “Do it again and I’ll beat the crap out’ta you!

There were those looks again – straight from the devil and prodding me on. This time I kicked the books so hard they shot out the other side, and before I could look up for the rewarding look from my fans, David was on his feet laying blow after blow on my head! “Gees, I guess he wasn’t kiddin’,” I thought!

Somehow I avoided a killer blow and managed to loose myself from the desk swinging around my waist, and pushed David back enough to allow me to recoil into my fighter pose.

David had stepped around between another row of students and desks, and like in your favorite western I flung myself across them, knocking the cards, chips, and whiskey bottles off (just made that up – it was test tubes that were breaking), and grabbed David around the waist and wrestled him to the floor between screaming girls and “get’em!” yelling boys.

Before David and I could finish one another off, Mr. White, our chemistry teacher, reentered the classroom and started yelling at everyone to “get back” and “Mushy (not his real name) and David! Stop dat right now,” he said with his German accented American lisp!

Holding each of us by a shoulder, and with his special sounding lisp, “Wee Willie” said, “Daveed and Musee (not his real name), u two r vaweey vaweey wooed” and lead us out the door!

Later, as we sat snickering in the principal’s office awaiting our sentence, we realized we had just committed a grand act. The significance of the “cowboy fight” seemed to wash over us at the same moment. We were legends – we had destroyed the chemistry lab (well, turned over several desks, broke several test tubes, and flasks) and disrupted “Wee Willie’s” chemistry class! We would be famous! “Now these towns, they all know our names…”

Principal Crowel walked in and handed down his decision…ten licks each, from his wooden paddle with the holes drilled in it! Believe me, there were tears in our eyes by the time the corporal punishment ended, but the thought of what we had done carried us through.

For days after that, guys would try to get David and me into another fight, telling first one then the other what was being said about the other. David and I kept our cool, though we still did not like each other very much, and talked when away from school. We finally came to the decision of putting on fake fights after school! Stupid? Yes!

However, that is just what we did, well, about five times that year. We would begin by barking slurs at the other and talking up what would seem to be the worst fight ever.

After school, behind the Gulf Station, a crowd of a dozen or more would gather and the name calling and posturing would begin. Soon David and I would be exchanging blows – real blows, with bloody noses, black eyes, and torn shirts! We were really fighting and for nothing more than the attention!

Seriously, for those that have never had fist fight, after the first good stinging punch that numbs your nose, cheek, or ear, you hardly feel a thing until several hours later. The only bravery comes in standing your ground long enough to get that first blow over – then adrenalin and the taste of blood protect you from any follow up.

The only real benefit from all the fisticuffs was that none of the senior bullies, actually no one, ever bothered us in school. They figured we were crazy and experienced and that it was best to leave us to kill each other.

For David and me…we chalked up one of the greatest “school daze” stories ever to come out of SHHS! We had torn up the chemistry lab! As I look back on it I now realize that I love David for being part of my life – part of my youth!

We have seen each other several times since and we have great respect for each other and behind each smile are the memories of the “fight club” – and its two youthful members. David and I have been friends ever since.

My days in the fight club finally ended my junior year, same year I joined, out behind the Gulf Station, in one final exhibition “cowboy fight” for schoolmates, with my “fight partner” David. It ended like the first, with someone else getting in the last licks - my dad for getting mud and grass stains on a new pair of “white” jeans.

It was the final showdown, because we finally became “seniors” – time to act like men.

Monday, August 07, 2006

THE BEAST WITHIN

It has been a life long fight that I think I have just about won. A “beast” within me that has wanted to destroy my life by pushing those I love away has reared its head time after time. Its existence is evidenced by holes in walls, dents in refrigerators, near road rage, bloody fights, and broken hearts. However, of late I have mellowed out, leashing the beast, but not quite caging him. I am in control now and only the worst of circumstances could ever loose him again.

The beast within first appeared on a playground when I was eight years old. An innocent game of “for keeps” “ringer” marbles complete with shooters, cats-eyes, and steelies resulted in a little disagreement and shoving. Before I knew it I was entangled with a fellow shooter and rolling around on the ground with a crowd of playmates gathered around shouting “Get’em”!

Besides my often-embarrassing over-productive forehead sweat glands, an easily bloodied nose cursed me all my youth. I could just rub a slight itch on the end of my nose and the blood flowed for several minutes. My wrestling partner rubbed across my nose going for a headlock and the damn broke. He immediately released me, finding blood on his arm and jumped up. I sat up and let the blood drip off my nose onto the ground.

Everything would have been fine and the beast would have stayed inside had he not pointed at me and said haughtily “Look! I won! I beat him! His nose is bloody!”

Someone laughed and agreed with him and the beast was born. I jumped up, catching the former wrestler by surprise. Before he could react I had him by the throat, on his back, and his nose slammed hard with my fist. The kid finally focused and then zoomed in on the drop of blood forming at the end of my nose. His eyes widened as it dropped right on his nose and I splattered it with my fist again. The second drop was followed by another blow and then another, splattering and mingling both our bloods all over his face and my fist.

For some reason, the third graders became aware that the boy was not breathing well due to the strangle hold I had on him. A couple of guys pulled me away and the boy sat gasping for air, much as I was, but for different reasons. I actually wanted to kill the boy and may have had something not moved the others to react. The incident scared me and haunted me for the rest of my life and every time I allowed the beast its freedom, I remembered and became even more ashamed.

I even used the incident in my fictional book some thirty-five years later (Chapter 2 – Cross+Hairs). It was frightening to me, as I wrote that such a violent true-life incident fit right in with the character of a serial killer.

It (the beast) is there, right below the surface, waiting to pounce in all of us. The difference between the true violent person and us is that we can control him. Some of us can learn how to and others cannot. The only problem is that it takes years to learn, in most cases, and bad things can happen before the lesson ends.

Gaining control of the beast is one of the great blessings of aging!