Name a National Park, a Tennessee/Kentucky/Georgia/Florida state park, or a Southern section of the Appalachian Trail, and my brother-in-law Ron has probably sat foot on it! He was amazing in his ability to recall the places he had been, but committing to memory every last yard of it was impossible.
The times I would go hiking with him, and they were many, I, being much more out of shape than he, would ask, "How much further to the trail-head?"
His reply was always, "Just around that next bend in the trail...I think!" Naturally, my tired legs were so disappointed when it turned out to the the 3rd or 5th turn!
He knew my capabilities better than I did, so he allowed me to trick him into a stop by saying, "What kind of wildflower is this? Or, "Look at this flower!" He would just grin, that wide grin, stop, and come back over trail he had already covered to see my discovery. He also usually knew the name of the flower! His memory was sharp and remained so until the very end.
On Wednesday afternoon, when I entered his bedroom, where he lay connected to oxygen and fans running to cool him. He looked up at me and with a shaky voice asked me, "Why is Corey (my son) selling his house?" Right out of the blue!
Why would this be on a man's mind when he had just hours before asked his wife, Neena, "Is this the day?"
Simple, he cared about people, especially those that had
given him some pleasure and happiness along the way. Corey had hiked with us several times, camped in the snow with us, and had eaten out with us, after some serious man-shopping, numerous times. He always got a kick out of Corey's youth, his sense of humor, and enjoyed his company.
given him some pleasure and happiness along the way. Corey had hiked with us several times, camped in the snow with us, and had eaten out with us, after some serious man-shopping, numerous times. He always got a kick out of Corey's youth, his sense of humor, and enjoyed his company.
"He's just doing a little downsizing, I suppose," I answered Ron.
He closed his eyes and began working hard at breathing once again. The medication hospice was giving him eased his pain and made breathing easier, but the price paid is conscientiousness. Before he slipped off again I squeezed his hand, rubbed his forehead, and told him that I loved him. His eyes struggled to open as he replied, "I love you too."
I told him that "we (the family) were here," and left the man that I had walked a many mile with to get on with the process of leaving this world. His daughter lay down next to him and they both went to sleep. His brother Jackson kept watch as others of the family came and went to say something to him, or simply touch him, but sometime around 5AM, Ron slipped away from us to wait for us on the other side.
All the good times flashed back tonight as I scanned my photo files of all the houseboat trips, the hikes, the vacations, the concerts, the holidays, and just regular days we had spent together. God gave my family a good man to teach us a little about life and what God has made for us all to see and enjoy.
We spent the day comforting each other and remembering, and even raising a glass or two of beer to Ron. He always loved a good cold pale ale, and traveling around the country trying new local micro-beers was what he enjoyed.
When we would go on vacations together, he already had a map of where the famous bars and micro-breweries were. It was great fun...watching the sun go down sipping a "cold beer" with Ron.
There were more laughs today than crying, and that is a testament to him as well; he loved to laugh and to hear us laugh. He left us with loads of memories full of smiles.
There is a blank space in my heart as I write this, but doing so, and looking at all the happy memories, I am again filled with love and admiration for my brother...Ron.
Ron will be cremated shortly and a little bit of him will be left in some of those places he loved. I'm so glad I got to visit some of those places side-by-side...or rather dragging slowly up the rear. However, reaching the summit was always worth the time, and the time was made more special by sharing it with someone who thoroughly appreciated what God has made.
6 comments:
That was a wonderful tribute, Mush, and my joyously weepy moment of the day so far.
Over these last few years, I've come to realize just how special Ron and Neena have been to you and what a wide gap Ron leaves in your heart now. Some folks never find someone that special and loyal so rejoice now in that rare, rare blessing that you truly were to each other.
Wish I was there to give you one of my big mama bear hugs.
Love to you both, Lin
Thank you Lin.
I have no words to be of much help---but I DO want to let you know I'm thinking of you and yours, and I DO understand the anguish. And, though it's not telling YOU anything new: It will mellow, as time passes. We never forget, nor should we. Strive to remember those many GOOD-times!
I never met the man, except through your writings---but he seemed to be one who "...would NEVER meet a stranger!", it would seem.
I send you my condolences and sympathy.
(P.S.---On a quick lighter-note: That last pic is a CLASSIC, in-deed!)☺
Thanks man. I broke down reading it to my mom...it will also be hard to get back on the trail, or go to a concert!
The last pic...we had done all that damage that night! Well, mostly Steve, but we helped.
Those pictures tell a wonderful story of a life well and truly lived, and show how much love he was surrounded by. That smile of his... Like I said before, I feel honored to have gotten the chance to hang out with you guys. My condolences to you and his family. Give Neena another hug from me.
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