WHEN IT RAINS IT POURS

Judy and I went outside this morning and Baylee stood almost motionless in the front yard, head down, no interest in us at all, and when I held out the "pig ear" I usually give her when I'm leaving, she just turned her head.

Over the past week, she had two days where she laid around the house barely moving. One day, she lay in her bed for almost 14 hours before wanting to go outside. All this was strangely unusual for her, so we kept and eye on her. She drank and ate normally until last evening. We noticed today that she did not eat last night's food.

Judy and l left to drop my truck off to be washed, but the man didn't show, so we hurried back home. Judy had arrived first and was standing in the garage crying. "I can't find her anywhere and she won't come!"

I walked around the house and called and saw her move in the leaves in the woods above the house. She slowly made her way down the hill, her rear quarters shaking as she frequently stopped to rest.

I opened the back door of the truck and she immediately went up and tried, but could not make it without my help. I left Judy crying and headed for our local vet's office.

At the office, Baylee just lay in the floor, ignoring all the other dogs in the lobby. She shook all over as she tried to rest, and her breathing was quick. There seemed to be a mass sticking out from one side, and since she hadn't eaten, I knew she wasn't just full.

The vet, a lady that has seen her several times of the past 8 or 9 years, rubbed and kneaded the internal organs she could feel, while Baylee stood motionless, head down, and tongue out.

The veterinarian suggested a blood analysis, x-rays, and a sedated stay in the hospital. I allowed them to do the blood test, and after about 30 minutes the results came back. Her pancreas was highly inflamed and causing her liver to stress as well. The only way to tell if it was some bad she had eaten was to keep her off food and water for two days, then a series of abdominal x-rays, and possibly exploratory surgery! More than likely she said, Baylee has a tumor or tumors causing her distress. The cost to wait and see...probably close to $2k!

Since she had been sickly for several days, I knew it wasn't something she had eaten. She had had plenty of time to pass and get over something like that. In my mind, as the vet suggested, she had a tumor on her pancreas and/or her liver.

I watched at her shake as she tried to rest on the floor, knowing she was hurting, and at the emptiness in her eyes. I couldn't allow her to hurt for 2 or 3 more days. I told the doctor I could not afford what she was suggesting and I didn't want her to hurt anymore. God, if anyone understands pain these days, it's me!

I also elected not to be with her...I held Lacy when they gave her "the shot" and it has haunted me ever since. I walked by the check out window, told them to send me the bill, and got into my truck. I sobbed all the way home and every time Judy and I look at each other we begin again.

Yes, she was just a dog, but the best damn dog ever. I'll always miss her. Every time a storm comes up, I'll wonder if she's afraid. When it gets cold outside, I'll wonder if she's warm enough. Too many memories to be forgotten.

Daddy Dog loves you!