FUN WITH WISDOM TEETH

I lost my right wisdom teeth when I was in my late twenties, and best I can remember only because one was impacted and infected. The logic in removing both on that side was that I would eventually have problems with the upper one. So, the dentist removed them both surgically the same day.

Because of the required cutting, he began by giving me a shot of Valium and a “spray” (as they say in drag racing) or two of nitrous, I was off to "happy land". When the dentist finished I even begged him to pull some more! I loved that “laughing gas” and asked if he had an extra bottle I could take home!

I remember commenting on how pretty the lights were in the room and then dropped to my knees and began rubbing the carpet with both hands saying, “Wow, look at all those colors!” My wife, at the time, was completely embarrassed, especially with me giving shout-outs to everyone in the waiting room!

Well, as it turns out, he should have gone ahead with the left side, because last evening around 7 PM I had another yanked! It was not the tooth's fault, but a little pocket in the gum next to it that kept getting infected from food particles!

I had been anxious all day, dreading the 5 o’clock appointment. Judy decided to wait in the car, mostly because she had refused to fix her hair and makeup that day. So, there she sat from 4:45 until about 7:15…trying to read in the dark!

I immediately went to their restroom, having had an early supper and a diet Mountain Dew before leaving. I knew I would not get anything decent for about 48 hours, so I ate hardy!

I sat in the waiting room, watching the 8 or so birds fly around in their glass house and feeling sorry for them, for some time. Finally, the assistant came out and said that they were backed up and it would be another 30 minutes. At the end of that time I had to pee again…mostly nerves at this point!

It was somewhere around 5:30 when I was called back to room 3, where the dental assistant prepped me for the dreaded numbing shots. I sat there for what seemed like forever, listening to the sounds of the dentist and assistant working on someone in the next room, with that yucky red stuff running down my throat.

Finally, the dentist takes a break from the other patient and comes in, shakes my hand, as he is accustom to doing, then pokes his fingers to the back of my mouth and begins the big squeeze and shaking motion that seems to make the shot less painful…however, the pinching is almost as bad.

With that, they both were off - back to the other patient.

Time ticked by as I squirmed, and twiddled my thumbs, when suddenly I realize I had to pee again! So, I endeavored to get up and out of the room as quietly as possible, not wanting them to hear. My plan is spoiled when I get my right foot entangled in the floor drill control and its cable. “You alright in there,” the nurse asks?

“Oh…yeah, just got to go to the restroom,” I say, half embarrassed at their knowing.

Finally, at around 7, the dentist comes in and begins to test my numbness by poking sharp instruments into my gums. Luckily I feel nothing, unlike the time before when he had to inject me a second time!

He begins groping around in my mouth and bumping my upper teeth with his pliers and hammer, and other implements I imagined! The metallic taste removed the sickening sweet of the prep swab, and I began to get very anxious again.

All of a sudden there was a sharp crack and release that caused me to jump! “Not to worry, that was just my instrument slipping off…nothing happen yet,” he said calmly.

Well, the slipping gave cause for the screwdriver looking pry tool! “Oh my god,” I was thinking behind my tightly shut eyes! I didn’t want to see what else he was going to use!

Just when I thought he might get it over, another doctor stopped by on his way out. The two talk, with my dentist still holding my mouth open and crammed full of “implements of destruction” while he looked at the doctor speaking to him. He would answer questions, and then look back in my mouth and tug a little, then the other fool would ask another question, and he would look away still holding the implements. At one point, one of the tools went up my right nostril…and there I sat…eyes wide open now, waiting the next humiliation!

“Why don’t you go home…we’re trying to pull a tooth here,” I wanted to shout at the other doctor!

Finally the stories and goodbyes were all said and the dentist again gave his full attention to my tooth. Then it breaks!

He got the large chunk you see in the photo (click to enlarge), but the other pieces had to pulled out separately. One dug out fairly easily, while the other had to have a ridge drilled into it so he could get a better grip!

In the photo you can see why I’ve had room for my wisdom teeth; the last molar toward the front ,on the side of the extraction, has always leaned in toward my tongue. This space gave the wisdom teeth room to grow in fairly normally. The “leaner” has never caused me any problems, other than being hard to clean.

The doctor packed the “hole”, about the size of a .38 “wad cutter”, with some kind of foamy gel and antibiotic, to prevent a “dry socket”. I called it a “pocket” – it’s all a matter of perspective!

We got home around 7:45 and, as of this post, I have had no pain…just a little soreness from the hand and instruments of destruction being in my jaw for nearly an hour and a half!

Yahoo…I still have another…maybe I’ll have more wisdom tooth fun in the future!