We all long to feel love from those around us, but we have to adjust to understanding how each individual expresses it in order to get because some just do not know how to say it out loud. Everyone expresses it in different ways – mom always hugged me, kissed my cheek, and said “I love you” out loud, but dad only worried about me and fuzzed at me so that mom had to tell me it was because “he loves you.”
I guess I am just hard headed but I like to be told outright and not have to wonder. I have trouble reading minds, although my wife expects that to be a dominate trait of mine!
Touching is another way people express their love for others. I sometimes touch a person on the arm or back as I speak to them. They may not be able to read my mind, but it means I care; I am glad they are there with me, or that I am interested in them and their problems. If dad had touched me more, maybe I would have gotten the message – oh wait, maybe it was when he held me down and tickled me until I cried!
Anyway, one of the most endearing “touches” was from my fraternal grandfather “Pa.” Pa never failed to wake me each morning when I stayed with them during my adolescent summers. Gentle but rough farm worn hands would nudge me awake as they pressed firmly down on me from head to toe as I lay under the covers. His soft gravelly voice saying “Pack’em down, pack’em down, pack’em down” as he went up and down my body two or three times. I would begin to move around, yawn, blink my eyes open, and look up into his weathered face.
“Your Ma and Lois almost have breakfast ready…better get up. We got lots to do today.”
I loved this attention and understood it was his way of saying “I love you,” although he never actually said it out loud. I loved this old man just because he “packed me down” and for little else. It was all that mattered and all that I really remember about his nature. He will long live in my mine as a gentle, hard working man, who packed me down!
I have continued this tradition of “packin’ ‘em down” with my son and my granddaughters. If they do little else in their lives to show love to their children I hope they remember to wake them up in the mornings with a soft loving voice saying “Pack’em down, pack’em down, pack’em down.”
It takes so little to love others – why don’t we do it more often?
18 comments:
That is a lovely way to express love. Thank you for sharing!
Thank You for stopping by.
That was an awesome story.
Enjoyed reading it.
Why do I keep gettin' mixed up with these Texas people? Guess I like'em!
Alisa - you never did send me your new URL.
Yep, it was when he held you down and tickled you to death! I can just see it!
Amen!
Very sweet. How true it is that we remember these little simple things. Fantastic.
Ah, welcome new visitor Lostcheerio! Please come back again. I'll check on you and the Little Blue School from time to time.
I love that story. There is something very special about Grandparents. I loved my grandmother more than any other member of my family. Sadly, she died a couple of years ago and I didn't manage to get home in time to say goodbye. Sydney to London is a bitch of a fight. She'll feature in my Blog. Thanks, it's a lovely image in my head.
Wow, I can totally relate with your story, my dad loved us dearly but never verbaly told us, yes we knew but would have like to hear it anyway. Today I make sure that my son and two daughters and five grandchildren along with everyone around me hear it from me. I posted something on August 19 sort of to this effect if you have a chance go back and read it.
http://joecoolsblog.blogspot.com/2006_08_01_joecoolsblog_archive.html
Thanks for sharing this story, it just felt so familiar.
Thanks Jose for pointing that out to me...I would have missed a great post otherwise.
Something about the guys from that era. My dad never said it till he was very old. Now says it all the time. His dad never had trouble saying it. I think you're right with the tickling. Those were days to treasure.
That is such a wonderful story! It was so nice of you to share it with us :)
I did a post a while back about the different languages of love and how people have different ways of expressing it (it was based on a book). I'm definitely not as much of a toucher -- in fact, I really don't like to touch anyone but a significant other. My way of showing I care is really through my actions in that I'd probably be the most dependable and trustworthy person you know, if we knew each other in "real life."
I understand your stance Becky and can appreciate it. I have always hated to talk to someone and they seem not to be paying attention or looking through me. Touching your arm or shoulder briefly while I talk is just a way of showing you my focus on you and that I really know you're there - nothing else.
It's like talking to a used car salesman...they talk all around you but never at you - no eye contact.
Thank you for dropping in...
I have to say an endearing "Thank You" for sharing your story!
I hate that I never got the chance to know my grandparents at all. Your "Pa" sounded to be like a very grand man!
I can relate to your story as well and your feelings on many levels. I grew up in a family that never said I love you, or I care... never. Upon leaving home at the age of 21 and moving to Houston, I called my parents, apologized to my father for disappointing him in any way that I might have and told him for the first time that I loved him dearly. I will never forget how my father came back with the words "Igual aquí" meaning "Same here". That was his way of saying the words. My mother would just grunt... I guess they just were never brought up to express these emotions. I don't know too much about their upbringing, a sad thing for me, because I grew up with a need to hear it and know it.
I'm with you on this...
"I like to be told outright and not have to wonder."
I always grew up thinking that I would never let my children grow up without hearing those special words. I told them upon waking them up and throughout the day and before they went to sleep, still do. My children are all grown and on their own, but I never fail to tell them I love them before hanging up. I've been told all my life that this was a weakness of mine. I hate to argue on that one... I think everyone now and then needs to hear it.
I'm a touchy person, just like you in all senses of just to let people know that I care or that I'm listening.
Dad has passed on... I'm glad I told him those precious words before he left us. Mom has her own ways...at the age of 84... if she doesn't scream at you... you know something is wrong. :)
Great Post! My comment was a bit long winded, but you definitely touched and tugged on some heart strings... I'll have to post my own, giving you a great HT for tugging on the heart strings.
We can't be afraid to show that love to others... You're right, "Why don't we do it more often?"
"Pack'em Down"
Sugar Cat - nice comment post - it doesn't matter how long it is, it's what you say, and you said a lit.
Thank you so much for stopping by - I visit you often as well.
Amen. This is another golden chestnut for the Mushy archive. Beautiful.
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