Friday, December 12, 2008


I lost my right wisdom teeth when I was in my late twenties, and best I can remember only because one was impacted and infected. The logic in removing both on that side was that I would eventually have problems with the upper one. So, the dentist removed them both surgically the same day.

Because of the required cutting, he began by giving me a shot of Valium and a “spray” (as they say in drag racing) or two of nitrous, I was off to "happy land". When the dentist finished I even begged him to pull some more! I loved that “laughing gas” and asked if he had an extra bottle I could take home!

I remember commenting on how pretty the lights were in the room and then dropped to my knees and began rubbing the carpet with both hands saying, “Wow, look at all those colors! My wife, at the time, was completely embarrassed, especially with me giving shout-outs to everyone in the waiting room!

Well, as it turns out, he should have gone ahead with the left side, because last evening around 7 PM I had another yanked! It was not the tooth's fault, but a little pocket in the gum next to it that kept getting infected from food particles!

I had been anxious all day, dreading the 5 o’clock appointment. Judy decided to wait in the car, mostly because she had refused to fix her hair and makeup that day. So, there she sat from 4:45 until about 7:15…trying to read in the dark!

I immediately went to their restroom, having had an early supper and a diet Mountain Dew before leaving. I knew I would not get anything decent for about 48 hours, so I ate hardy!

I sat in the waiting room, watching the 8 or so birds fly around in their glass house and feeling sorry for them, for some time. Finally, the assistant came out and said that they were backed up and it would be another 30 minutes. At the end of that time I had to pee again…mostly nerves at this point!

It was somewhere around 5:30 when I was called back to room 3, where the dental assistant prepped me for the dreaded numbing shots. I sat there for what seemed like forever, listening to the sounds of the dentist and assistant working on someone in the next room, with that yucky red stuff running down my throat.

Finally, the dentist takes a break from the other patient and comes in, shakes my hand, as he is accustom to doing, then pokes his fingers to the back of my mouth and begins the big squeeze and shaking motion that seems to make the shot less painful…however, the pinching is almost as bad.

With that, they both were off - back to the other patient.

Time ticked by as I squirmed, and twiddled my thumbs, when suddenly I realize I had to pee again! So, I endeavored to get up and out of the room as quietly as possible, not wanting them to hear. My plan is spoiled when I get my right foot entangled in the floor drill control and its cable. You alright in there,” the nurse asks?

Oh…yeah, just got to go to the restroom,” I say, half embarrassed at their knowing.

Finally, at around 7, the dentist comes in and begins to test my numbness by poking sharp instruments into my gums. Luckily I feel nothing, unlike the time before when he had to inject me a second time!

He begins groping around in my mouth and bumping my upper teeth with his pliers and hammer, and other implements I imagined! The metallic taste removed the sickening sweet of the prep swab, and I began to get very anxious again.

All of a sudden there was a sharp crack and release that caused me to jump! Not to worry, that was just my instrument slipping off…nothing happen yet,” he said calmly.

Well, the slipping gave cause for the screwdriver looking pry tool! Oh my god,” I was thinking behind my tightly shut eyes! I didn’t want to see what else he was going to use!

Just when I thought he might get it over, another doctor stopped by on his way out. The two talk, with my dentist still holding my mouth open and crammed full of “implements of destruction” while he looked at the doctor speaking to him. He would answer questions, and then look back in my mouth and tug a little, then the other fool would ask another question, and he would look away still holding the implements. At one point, one of the tools went up my right nostril…and there I sat…eyes wide open now, waiting the next humiliation!

Why don’t you go home…we’re trying to pull a tooth here,” I wanted to shout at the other doctor!

Finally the stories and goodbyes were all said and the dentist again gave his full attention to my tooth. Then it breaks!

He got the large chunk you see in the photo (click to enlarge), but the other pieces had to pulled out separately. One dug out fairly easily, while the other had to have a ridge drilled into it so he could get a better grip!

In the photo you can see why I’ve had room for my wisdom teeth; the last molar toward the front ,on the side of the extraction, has always leaned in toward my tongue. This space gave the wisdom teeth room to grow in fairly normally. The “leaner” has never caused me any problems, other than being hard to clean.

The doctor packed the “hole”, about the size of a .38 “wad cutter”, with some kind of foamy gel and antibiotic, to prevent a “dry socket”. I called it a “pocket” – it’s all a matter of perspective!

We got home around 7:45 and, as of this post, I have had no pain…just a little soreness from the hand and instruments of destruction being in my jaw for nearly an hour and a half!

Yahoo…I still have another…maybe I’ll have more wisdom tooth fun in the future!


david mcmahon said...

OUCH. I. Feel. Your. Pain.

My kids reckon I never got wisdom teeth. I simply cannot imagine what would make them think that!!

Mushy said...

Ah, they never did me any good either!

Grandpa-Old Soldier said...

I just learned more about the inside of your mouth than I wanted to know. From the sounds of your plight in the dentist office and the amount of time it took, I think I would find me a faster doctor, or you could pull a Castaway move like in the movie. A rock and an ice skate, but ya gotta get drunk first.

FHB said...

Eeew! Nasty dude. I think I had a better deal with the IV. Cheers brutha!

Jerry said...

Wow. I had two out in my 20s and the others have never come in. Hope I don't have to go through it all again.

Have a toddy on me, pal!

Pat Houseworth said...

All mine out, and talk about pain...the clots came out way too soon.....even whiskey couldn't dull the pain.

I think that was 20 years ago...and the memory still sucks.

Mushy said...

Mine is still holding...24 hours to go!

BRUNO said...

Yeah, Pat's talkin' about the "dry-pockets". Mine came out way too soon, too---and there really ain't much you can do about it, either!

I was put out for mine---had all four removed at the same time, about 10 years ago. They had impacted sideways, and grown into each adjacent tooth, which also had to "go". Needless to say, I'm a bit "short-changed", when it comes to teeth, now!

Two days afterward, I was black-and-blue from my earlobes down to my throat, from the pryin' and gougin'! I spit out pieces of teeth for at least a month afterwards, as they worked out of my gums!

Was it worth it? Well---they ain't hurt since---DUH-HUH...!!!

Spicybugz said...

This whole post made me cringe, I hate going to the dentist.

Scott from Oregon said...

Interesting evolutionary left-over--those teeth. The jawline shrunk down but the teeth remained. Some people are now born without wisdom teeth-- now THAT'S smart! Eventually, everyone will be spared the little devils...

JihadGene said...

When Mr Dipshit (Doc's Buddy) comes in to chat, I would have either...

A.)Kicked him in the balls.If he was near my feet.


B.) Given him a WWE's Nature Boy, Ric Flair patented "low blow". was a reflex move. No court would find you guilty.

Mushy said...

Yep, I'm less evolved than some...still won't to hit women over the head at the water hole and have my way with them!

Thought about one of those moves JihadGene - seriously!

Buck said...

Ah... "Adventures In Modern Dentistry." I could buy a small house or a pretty danged nice car with the money I've dropped in this space over the past eight years or so. OTOH, my dentist probably DID buy that nice car with my money...

I feel yore pain, Mushy. Literally.

Debbie said...

Mushy, so sorry you had to go through this. I had all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed when I was 21 years old. Better to get them out when you are young and be done with it. A couple of percocets and a good nap later, I felt fine.

The old saying is "when you have your wisdom teeth removed ... half of your life is over."

So, I'm not sure what your age is, but looks like you have another 60 years or so to live??? Lucky you.

If that old saying is true, I should have been dead at 42 and I'm still kicking strong as ever.

Oh, you want to see someone make a fool out of themselves... When hubby has his vasectomy I don't know what they gave him, but it turned him into a wild man. He was walking around the hospital, talking loudly, telling everyone what he just had done, introducing me to the doctors back in their lounge, and everyone was laughing their heads off. I was so embarrassed.

Debbie Hamilton
Right Truth

lunaticg said...

That got to hurt.
lucky for me, i already have my lunch.
See you around friend.

David Sullivan said...

Been there brother. I had 4 wisdom teeth pulled on just Novacaine cause its was too expensive to use gas back when I was much younger an uninsured. I have your same love of nitrous oxide...

Lee said...

Been there! In my 20's I had both uppers pulled at the same time. The dentist numbed both sides and the results were that I could not feel my tongue so I kept gagging on it at first. He had the audacity to get mad at me for panicking and not being as quick to learn how to not do that as he thought I should be.

Congratulations on making Post of the Day!


Suldog said...

Oh, man. I've had extensive dentistry done, as you probably know, so I not only can feel your pain, I really have, many times. God bless, Mushy.

Mushy said...

Thanks everyone for sharing your experiences...this is what blogging is all about.

Stesha said...

When I went to have my wisdom tooth pulled. I passed out afterwards. Turns out I was pregnant.


Hello I really like your blog, I would like a link exchange with you, I insert your blog to my favorite blogs ;)

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Becky said...

I had all four taken out at the same time and I made them put me under general anesthesia. I was pretty fortunate in that I healed so quickly that I was eating Mickey D's the next day. Glad that you weren't feeling much pain afterward!

Sandi McBride said...

Ow. Brought back some fairly anxious memories and I hope to God that you email this post your dentist...he deserves to read about what a duffus he is!
opps, forgot, congrats on Post of the Day mention from David's

deerslayer said...

Mushy; I've just stumbled across your website and would like to add you to my three websites if that would be ok with you. Thanks Deerslayer, in Sparta, Tennessee.

Shrinky said...

Oh my, that is one heck of a long time to be stuck with your jaw open, poor you hon. Hope it's all settled back down for you now.

My big sis has had a life-long phobia of the dentist, when she was young, she kicked up such a fuss one day, the dentist suggested ma wait outside so she might not keep begging her to save her. Didn't work, she just screamed all the louder, so Mr. Bright Spark Dentist went to get ma back again. Sis' slipped out the back door and wasn't seen for hours!

Olga, the Traveling Bra said...

Has anyone ever told you that you have a rather interesting looking bicuspid there too Mushy?! ;)

Anna said...

Ouch ouch your wisdome story, so did you get a bottle to take home, lol.
I took my also, in late twenties, I remember my last line being: you dentist all you want to do is cut cut and cut...the rest of the story, it was a cut alright, lol. Anna :)

Les Becker said...

I only ever had one wisdom tooth, removed by a butcher dentist as a "matter of course". He set me up for an appointment to get the other three removed, but I switched dentists, and discovered that the other three were Imaginary. They didn't ever grow, let alone have cause for removal.

Betcha you missed that laughing gas, huh...? :-)

Sorry to have been so scarce of late. Hopefully, I can remedy that for the next while.