Sunday, July 01, 2007


Carol at SHRINK-WRAPED SCREAM insisted I allow her to interview me (don't we look good together). I doubt any of this is of any interest to many of you, but here it is in all candor anyway. I have considered my life to be an open book up to this point, but some of these questions were hard for me to answer.

1) Who was the first girl to break your heart, how did you meet, how long were you together, why did you break-up, and when did you last meet?

Mary Lee (last name withheld) was a pretty girl of sixteen or seventeen who had a rather “fast” reputation in high school. She had been dating a fellow two to three years older than she was when I came along. I did not know that she was desperate to get back together with him and chose me to make him jealous.

On a second date I decided to go for the gold that I thought was obtainable and was almost on third base, by the dashboard lights, when she suddenly said in an unexcited and very formal voice “What do you think you are doing? What do you think of me?” I shrank, literally, to just a thumb sized little boy standing on the floorboard of the car looking up at her totally stripped of any dignity and at a complete loss for words.

She went on to explain that she did not care for me in “that way” and that she still loved “whatever his name was!” I had fallen for her beauty and had gotten the wrong impressions of her feelings for me.

It was many years before I trusted another girl enough to let myself fall for her and especially to admit it to her.

Moving on swiftly to the second part of the question; how long have you known your wife, what pet names do you use for each other, how did you first meet, how many children do you have between you, and what (outside of the obvious) are your favourite (that’s Brit for favorite) pursuits together?

I have known Judy since our junior year in high school, some forty-four years now. She too was dating an older guy who had already graduated and I was too intimidated to ask her out. However, she and I used to talk endlessly at lunch behind the Carole Ann Drive-In almost every day during school, or so it seems today. We also ended up in groups in the same car going to dances and were just buddies, but deep inside I longed for her to like me. I’ve written about her Betty Davis eyes before, and I have yet to see any other eyes as captivating as those were in those days.

She and I met again years ago when we worked at the same plant in Oak Ridge. We began to call each other and talk for hours at night and I have told her many of my conquest secrets, not knowing that we would be married one day.

Then, at a fifteen-year reunion she and I met, danced, and ended up talking until the sun came up the next morning. We have been together ever since – this year makes 27! She has a daughter and I have a son from previous marriages.

We enjoy our grandchildren, sitting on the screened-porch listening to the geese and owls, walking on short hikes, cooking, and eating out. Often we will have several drinks on the porch and listen to MP3 music of old rock classics and blues in that idyllic buzz.

2) I know you served in Vietnam, how old were you when you joined the military, were you conscripted, how long did you serve, what rank were you, are you still in touch with any of your comrades, and how do you feel your experiences there have impacted on your life?

I was eighteen years old when I volunteered for the Air Force. I wanted to be a medic, and later to work in the medical field, but the Air Force saw fit to make me a Security Policeman (MP). I made “Buck Sergeant” or E-5 before my four-year hitch ended. I never wanted to be a cop after that…too many bad experiences I suppose. I am also not in contact with any former military friends.

Going to Vietnam made me more of an American and I detest anything that seems contrary to what that ideal is in my mind. It made me anxious to travel outside the United States. For years I was content to stay on my property and not leave. Slowly I have ventured out on cruises and other excursions, but I am overly conscious of my surroundings.

Once in Cozumel I had a “flash back”, one of many such incidents, and I was taken back by the mopeds zipping by with girls on the back fenders. All that was missing was the silk pajama like clothing and conical hats. The heat, humidity, and dirtiness of Saigon was all there.

I refuse to travel to New York for the same reasons. To me it is a foreign country and I will not go unless I’m armed!

3) I know you have had many adventures along the years, have you ever been arrested, if so, why, what is your biggest regret, what one action of yours, if any, altered the course of your life, and what embarrassing moment still has the power to make you cringe?

My biggest regret is my second marriage to a gal thirteen years younger than I was. She had just turned nineteen and I was her second marriage! She had a body of a gymnast, could do the splits as I remember, and I was in heat! She turned out to be warped by her family and her first husband, plus cocaine, bulimia, and bisexuality were all obstacles I could not overcome. I cut her loose in short order and have been embarrassed by it ever since.

I met her once over twenty years ago and she asked if we could have lunch and let her apologize for all her mistakes. I flatly said, “NO!” and that’s the last of that.

For years, for the purposes of security clearances, I was asked where she was and I told them that if they wanted to know that they could find her, but please don’t tell me where she it. I was surprised they accepted that, but they did and I worked twenty-nine years with a “secret” clearance!

4) You have a time machine and the power to alter one event in history. Which one do you choose, and why? What would you hope to achieve by this?

Somehow I would save “Camelot!” I loved John F. Kennedy, which in no way makes me a Democrat, and would throw myself over him if I could have.

I loved that time, I loved Jack, I loved Jackie, I love the kids, and I loved America as it was at that time. It will never be the same. We lost our innocence! We were thrown from the garden of Camelot forever!

John had begun a withdrawal of troops from Vietnam in ’63 and I think, had he survived, many, many lives would have been spared. I may be wrong, we’ll never know, but I just think the whole world would be different today. Who knows…I don’t want to argue with you!

5) Please elaborate on your personal spiritual and political beliefs, have they always been the same, if not, what happened to change them, if you were granted the say over what to do about the war in Iraq, what would you do, how would you achieve it, and what would you predict as the outcome?

Damn, this is a tall order and I have already overextended my stay here!

Let me just say that GOD is not a monster. He does not kill little children, he does not cause natural disasters, and he will not cast you into a burning lake of fire forever.

GOD is love…he is like a daddy (a good daddy) that loves you, protects you, and forgives you. How could a daddy be cruel?

Most organized religions paint GOD as waging a battle with Satan and could lose if WE don’t help HIM by saving souls. This is bullshit! God is all-powerful and could wipe Satan out with one spoken word IF he chose to do so.

When mankind fell for the line that we could be like God, knowing the difference between good and evil, and wanting to make our own decisions we were left on our own to discover that we cannot make it without him. Until mankind, as a whole, realizes this and calls on HIS name, we will continue to live in a world dominated by the “Prince of the Air” Satan.

Satan is the real monster in life and we need to recognize it.

The reward for “believing” is “ever lasting life!” In order to survive being cast into a burning hell, you have to be a given the power of everlasting life! You cannot get that reward unless you believe in Jesus (the son of God, who is God)! So it don’t make sense that you can be cast into a lake of fire and burn forever. IF you get cast into it – you will be consumed!

I believe that few will be lost(consumed)…Jesus came to save the world – not just a few pious churchgoers!

I ain’t even going to get into politics – suffice it to say WE NEED TO COME HOME, and stay home. We cannot win among people with so much history and so many factions!

I apologize for taking up so much of your time with this, and I hope I’ve offended you, or at least made you think!

Do YOU want to be interviewed? (Probably not, huh? BUT, if you do, leave a comment saying so and I’ll pass the job of interviewing on to someone else.)

Interview rules:

1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I (someone) will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with a post containing your answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.


alphonsedamoose said...

Mushy: I totally agree with your answer to the last question. Well said.

Shrink Wrapped Scream said...

I love the photo - I'm still laughing!! (Darn, you're but clever!) You have risen well to the questions, my friend, your answers give a deeper insight in to your complexity. We can only come away loving you even more! (I suspect you will also prove to be a wonderful interviewer too, and can't wait to see you in action.) x

*Goddess* said...

Let me just say that GOD is not a monster. He does not kill little children, he does not cause natural disasters, and he will not cast you into a burning lake of fire forever.

That attitude annoys the HELL out of me, and you hear it every time there's a natural disaster "Why did God let this happen?" Nobody ever asks that when they win Powerball, though.

Scott from Oregon said...

I often wonder why those raised with the Christian book would rather warp the book than admit the book is a compilation of stories basically written by the same group of people who inflame the region to this day?

Why can't "God" just be the great mystery that he is indeed? Why do we need to tie "God" up with silly stories about making earth in six days and floods and (if you read the stories back through the first Testiment) lots of murder and mayhem?

Why do we have to go once a week and stare at an effigy of a man nailed up to some two by fours to get ourselves closer to the great mystery of life and our lace in it?

I'll never understand the religously indoctrinated and their heaven/hell binary views...

Lots of great answers here sir. Hope your shoulder heals quickly.

The splits? Really?

BRUNO said...

Don't ya' just HATE it when people start "pickin' your brains"?

(Probably explains why I ain't got any left---they done been picked CLEAN!)

Fathairybastard said...

I really loved to read this stuff. Damn, she's good, and your answers were very illuminating. You couldn't offend me. I wish you'd come to Dallas so I could take you up to the 6th floor. I think you'd really like the way they handle it. Very reverent. Probably not somewhere you'd ever want to go, but I wish you could. I have so much respect for you, busting out all over. Knocks me out. Well done man. And that picture is great. Bet that blew her mind.

Debbie said...

Very interesting, I enjoyed reading the interview very much.

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

That was an interesting read. I often see you around at Carol's and it's good to read about the man behind the photo!

My uncle was in the first Gulf War, with the R.A.F. He never really recovered.

I wish all the fighting would stop. But maybe I'm just a naive little Bear.

We've had more bombs over here (UK) this weekend. It's enough to make you want to hibernate...


Mushy said...

Yes, my friends in England/Scotland, keep your heads down, but don't give in to them.

Patrick Joubert Conlon said...

God is all-powerful and could wipe Satan out with one spoken word IF he chose to do so.


Rhea said...

The gymnast story was enough for me to say to myself, I think I'll decline being interviewed. I may embarrass myself.

Shrink Wrapped Scream said...

Yeah, those damn bombs, hubby was caught up in the wave of them last time around. He's about to spend the next three weeks in Central London. If ever there were candidates to burn in hell, Mushy, these cowardly bastards must be some of the first in line..

Suldog said...


You spoke those words of God from out of my own soul. Thank you.