Sunday, October 29, 2006


The Goddess asked me the other day how my wife got me to vacuum and other things around the house, well; I learned from my first mistakes how to appreciate my wife (see why they call me Mushy). I’m intent on keeping her!

Plus, she never says no, even with a headache!

That bit comes from a long time back when I was between marriages and when a friend and I wore polyester shirts, gold chains, and discoed our butts off! We were “wild and crazy guys” who loved “big American breast!” We consoled each other on the weekends, if we didn't have dates, playing Lynyrd Skynyrd, Ted Nugent, the Stones, etc., burning a little hemp, and downing mass quanitities of alchololic beverages!

He and I used to compete at writing “poems”, or rather weird song lyrics, but one night we compiled a list of 10 things a girl had to know, or have, before we would step back into matrimony.

This idea was spawned by the movie "Semi-Tough" starring Burt Reynolds back in ’77. In one scene, the main characters, Billy Clyde and Shake, discuss their rating system for women.

The ones we made up were based on the movie’s list, however I can only remember three of ours:
1. Never says no – not even in a coma.
2. Knows about Pavlov’s dog.
3. Knows all the lyrics to “Free Bird”.

The rest is lost to 28 years of partying!

My friend Steve and I haven’t seen each other in almost that long. I sure miss him – we were a roit together, but his wife made him settle down and I was out. We used to call the other one up and through the phone over in the bed if we were gettin’ lucky and we’d both just laugh our butts off no matter where we were. Good times - we are lucky to have lived through it all!

My wife passed the test, except for the “Free Bird” part (hey, I can’t remember them sober), but she did walk into the Time-Out Deli bare-footed one night and I just thought that was the coolest thing ever! I had never known a woman that down to earth and unpretentious, besides, she had “Betty Davis” eyes.

And, in my eyes, she is running up the beach with her braided and beaded hair dancing in the sunlight.

If someone can remember, or has seen the movie or read the book (Semi-Tough) lately, please post or send me the list from the movie. I searched but could not find it. It might help me remember more of “our” list!


EC said...

I have never seen the movie, so I can't help you there.

I do however know all the words to Free Bird drunk or sober, lol - and it was actually the first song I "learned" to play on my guitar. Learned meaning I can play certain riffs but definately don't come close to a full song :)

Goddess said...

Ok now technically, can one refuse *anything* in a coma? LOL;)

Ranger Tom said...

I made a list like that once... I think I may have even posted it... I don't remember all that was in it, but "No Gag Reflex" was definately near the top...

Fathairybastard said...

Mmmm, Bo Derek immages flowing through the mind. Semi-Tough is a classic. Had to read the book in college, or was it North Dallas Fourty? Also a classic. Those were the days, pre herpes and aids. I figured you'd had some fun back then when I saw the perm. Scary.

Becky said...

I haven't seen that movie or else I'd help. Diner has an interesting "weeding out process" as well.

phlegmfatale said...

She's pretty, Mushy - and she'd have to be fun-loving to hook up with you. Sounds like you're both really lucky. Oh, and good for you for relaxing the standard on that Free Bird bidness!

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